finally, a plan!

finally, after many months of being up in the air with TTC because of the house, we have a plan to move forward  : ) 

dh has noticed my efforts lately and i didn't tell him this cycle when i was fertile (we only managed to BD O-3...) which he prefered and felt way less stressed about (though i was pretty frustrated because its our last cycle that will allow us to go home for xmas without taking a break). so now, if this cycle doesn't result in pregnancy (like i'm assuming), we'll just do what we did last summer and NTNP until the house is done (which i've already written about) and then maybe put in some effort when we're more relaxed and enjoying the house and summer. at the end of summer, we'll finally pursue testing. he's very much not wanting to do an SA, but really, its one of the easiest things to do testing wise since its non-invasive and no needles needed. i would much rather know if there is an issue so we can stop trying to make it happen naturally if that's just not even a possibility. why waste time, you know? so thank god, we finally have a plan if nothing happens over the next 5-6 months.

i really hate that the house has put the brakes on all of this, i kind of resent in fact. i know it was better to do it now when we don't have kids to slow down the progress because of needing to care for them, but fuck, did we really need the house to prolong TTC an extra year? if it weren't for the damn house, we probably wouldn't still be in this clueless phase (in regards to not knowing if there are potential issues) and at least have answers if we weren't pregnant yet and on our way to making it happen for real.

the last couple days have been a little hard on me because of the lack of plan in place to deal with this. now that we have a plan, i am breathing a bit of a sigh of relief. its not a full sigh since i have a 5-6 month waiting period to see if either we magically have it happen while NTNP before going ahead iwth testing, but at this point, i'm just thankful there's a bit of an end in sight til we have an actual schedule of what will happen when instead of being up in the air about it all. i just need some damn structure back in my life!