last shot

(cycle 31, day 1)

yep, AF showed up. i was so optimistic this cycle and confident i'd get a BFP, that i think i jinxed myself. even a BFN on 10dpo didn't deter me or drag me down. i've never had this good of an attitude during my 2ww ever. not until last night when i had some AF cramping around 10pm. i was going to test this morning because i wasn't expecting AF til tomoro (though now that i think about it, i didn't take the baby aspirin during my 2ww, so i'm not surprised i had a 12 day LP since that's what it was before the baby aspirin). since the cramps weren't accompanied by spotting, i remainded hopeful, but not optimistic like i was. i had more cramping in the middle of the night that woke me up, hope = gone. when i got out of bed this morning, i was surprised to see that AF hadn't yet shown up. i was ready to test, i collected my pee, still no AF. went to wipe, and there she was. damn.

so i guess my plan is to attempt one more cycle before taking at least 2 months off so we don't miss out on going east next xmas. i'm hoping that if this last ditch effort to have a baby before xmas works, otherwise, towards the end or just after our break, we'll start fertility testing. something i was hoping to avoid, but is starting to feel like i'm not going to be that lucky  :-/