(cycle 7, day 19)
i had a course last week with the safety codes council to get the last of the base competency courses (i was granted equivalency for the other two courses because of my NAIT training) to become a safety codes officer. it had been a while since i was last in a class room, 5 years, and just as long since the last time i took an exam.
the class went well. it seemed like i knew what i needed to know since everything they talked about in class i could easily find in the book and i understood everything that was said. that was until i started the exam.... I remembered reading all the questions/answers in the course book but it felt like when I went looking to check the answers, I couldn't find them. Worst feeling in the world, well not really, but it sure didn't make me feel very confident about the exam. I ended up going through all the questions and finding what answers I could and then trying to guess or remember the answers to the rest of them without cross checking. Well apparently I remembered the answers pretty well since I only got 5 wrong! Yay me!!! haha.
At least now i'm prepared for future exams while on my quest to become a safety codes officer : P
Monday, April 18, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
the life of an outpatient
(cycle 7, day 14)
things are getting better. i still have to get my dressing changed on that abcsess that left a gaping hole in my ass. its such a pain to go there every other day and pay for parking everytime i go in. i also end up feeling bad for everyone waiting to see a doctor since i get called back before they do and i'm out of there within 30 minutes or less.
it's been healing quickly, at least that's what some of the nurses who have seen me are saying. i really have nothing to compare so i can judge it for myself, not to mention i cant even see it myself. i was starting to get a little worried that we (or at least i) wouldn't be able to do everything we were wanting to do in mexico, but the nurse i had to today was going to make sure that i'm able to fully enjoy our vacation. it made me feel so much better about my situation. i was starting to get bummed. who goes to mexico and doesn't swim??? they made swim up bars for a reason! lol.
so i basically have 2 dressing changes left until our holidays. i'm even getting to take the weekend off so i'll have 3 days between friday's and monday's. that will be nice. and on monday, hubby gets to learn how to be a nurse and take care of my wound while we're on holidays : ) someone's gotta be able to reach and see back there, haha.
i just can't believe our vacation is almost here, SIX DAYS! can't wait.
things are getting better. i still have to get my dressing changed on that abcsess that left a gaping hole in my ass. its such a pain to go there every other day and pay for parking everytime i go in. i also end up feeling bad for everyone waiting to see a doctor since i get called back before they do and i'm out of there within 30 minutes or less.
it's been healing quickly, at least that's what some of the nurses who have seen me are saying. i really have nothing to compare so i can judge it for myself, not to mention i cant even see it myself. i was starting to get a little worried that we (or at least i) wouldn't be able to do everything we were wanting to do in mexico, but the nurse i had to today was going to make sure that i'm able to fully enjoy our vacation. it made me feel so much better about my situation. i was starting to get bummed. who goes to mexico and doesn't swim??? they made swim up bars for a reason! lol.
so i basically have 2 dressing changes left until our holidays. i'm even getting to take the weekend off so i'll have 3 days between friday's and monday's. that will be nice. and on monday, hubby gets to learn how to be a nurse and take care of my wound while we're on holidays : ) someone's gotta be able to reach and see back there, haha.
i just can't believe our vacation is almost here, SIX DAYS! can't wait.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Pilonidal Abscess
(cycle 7, day 8)
That's what I had. I hope to never have one ever again, but at least I'll know to see a doctor sooner when my tailbone begins to hurt.
Friday March 11
My tailbone was a little tender. Didn't think anything of it. It continued for the whole weekend, only getting a little worse by the end of Sunday.
Monday March 14
Tailbone started hurting more. Did some research over the weekend about bruised tailbones so I called my chiropractor in hopes they might be able to help since I read that they might be able to with a bruised tailbone (which is what I thought it was at the time...). I started noticing some swelling, I just chalked it up to a really badly bruised/fractured tailbone since there was also some redness in the area that mistook for bruising.
Tuesday March 15
Swelling got much worse. It had turned into more of a welt than a little swelling and it hurt 10 times more. By the end of the workday I was in tears from the pain. Now I was starting to worry that it was something far more serious than a bruised/fractured tailbone but I kept my appointment with the chiro just incase it was nothing. I didn't want to waste a doctor's time or my own if I didn't have to.
Wednesday March 16
Went to my chiro appointment. I was in so much pain, I couldn't even stand to sit in my office chair, or stand, or lay down, or anything really. She wasn't able to help me, but advised me to go to the walk-in clinic because it needed medical attention and was likely an infection and they would take care of it for me. Even though she couldn't do anything for me, it helped me out when she told me what it likely was and how it would be taken care of. It helped calmed my nerves and prepared me before going into the doctors.
When I came back to the office, my boss could tell I was upset about it and told me to go home and rest and let him know what happens so that he could plan his time at the office while I wasn't there. I went home, relaxed for a bit and then headed to the doctors. I needed to get this fixed as it was starting to be quite painful and I could barely drive without wincing at the pain.
It didn't take super long at the clinic and the doctor knew right away what it was and advised me to go into the ER the next day to see the doctor there so that they could get this 'thing' taken care of quickly. In the meantime he prescribed some antibiotics to help with the infection until I could get into the ER. I ended up having to skip my sister's boyfriend's birthday shindig because of the pain :( I felt bad, but I just couldn't do it in the state I was in.
Thursday March 17
I got out of bed a little later, which was nice. It was nice to not deal with my boss, lol. I went into the ER like the doctor told me to. It was pretty bad. Within 30 minutes the doctor attending the ER called me back to take a look and pretty much immediately called down the general surgeon for a consult. Less than 30 minutes after the first doctor looked at me, the surgeon also looked at me and I had been admitted to the hospital as a patient and would be getting surgery sometime in the next 24 hours. After the surgeon looked at it, I had nurses in and out of my room for various things, blood samples, pain meds, one to collect personal valubles before going into surgery, and another to start an IV. Two hours after first getting to the ER, they had a bed for me on one of the other floors and that's where I would be staying until I was good enough to go home, whenever that might be. I was prepared that I would be having surgery, but I wasn't prepared to stay the night at the hospital. Seemed like I was caught off guard with that, even though I knew in the back of my head that that would be the case, it just didn't really sink in until I was almost set up for surgery.
At that 2 hour mark, another nurse got me in a wheelchair and got me to my room. I was basically being prepped for surgery which was going to be at 5pm (just 3 hours after first getting to the hospital!). I had to remove my nailpolish, all my peircings, my bobby pins, one nurse cleaned my back because I didn't have time to take a shower before they started calling for me in the operating room. By that point I had started feeling a little overwhelmed by how fast everything was happening. Could you really blame me? within less than 3 hours of getting to the ER (not even seeing a doctor yet, just getting registered) I was in the OR getting my Pilonidal Abscess operated on. It also happened to be the day AF showed up, so much fun! NOT!!! At least I got to deal with all the horrible-ness all at once... And AF wasn't even that horrible to deal with this time.
I got out of the OR after about an hour and back to my room. By that time, my mom was there... I would've rathered she not shown up. I don't know what it is, but she's just not comforting to me anymore, if anything she's an annoyance... Right off the bat she was wondering where my husband was. He was there before I went in and told me to text him when I was back in my room and he would come back to see me before visiting hours were over. I was fine with that, but she wasn't. It's not like it was a life threatening rare surgery, it was a common standard procedure surgery, in and out of the OR within 45 mins and awake and in my room within 60.
I spent my time in the hospital sleeping as much as I could. That's all there really is to do if you don't get a TV. It helped that my meds made me drowsy. I was awake for short periods, pretty much every hour. I didn't sleep well, but I slept a lot. It made for a very long night and long next day.
Friday March 18
I slept most of the day. I didn't know when I was getting out and being released. It bugged me, but there wasn't anything I could do. It just sucked because I knew his mom was coming down for the weekend and I was stuck in the hospital. I felt bad that I wouldn't be able to visit much with her while she was here, but at least I was on the mend from the horrible few days before this.
Sometime shortly before lunch was my first dressing change. I wish they would have warned me how much it was going to hurt. I think that was by far the most painful part of my whole experience. I just figured it was like a band-aid and you just changed it when it needed to be changed. I didn't know that it was whole process : ( Because of the gaping hole in my ass left by the abscess, I have to have it packed with Mesalt (litrally salt in the wound) to help draw out the infection and help it drain. The pressure they used to put it in and the stinging of the salt combined was too much to handle, and they even gave me some morphine in my IV to help, it basically didn't even do anything. It hurt like a mother fcuker! I'll tell you this, I'm almost looking forward to child birth after how much this hurt and for how long, lol.
The surgeon made his rounds in the afternoon and allowed me to be discharged as long as I would be able to come in everyday for dressing changes. Of course I lept at the chance to go home, but I kind of liked having all those nurses to take care of me or answer any questions that popped into my head. I got changed and made my way downstairs after getting my prescriptions from the nurse and set up my first dressing change and my husband came to pick me up during his coffee break. It was so nice to be home.
Of course, conveniently my phone was dying so all the attempts my mom made to get a hold of me I just blamed my not getting back to her on my (nearly) dead cell phone : P I didn't feel like talking to her or letting her know I was going home because I didn't want her to drop in for a visit or insist on taking me home. I have a husband to take care of me, I don't need my damn mommy!
Sean's sister and the gang came down to drop off his mom since it was more convenient for them, and coincedently myself as well since the original plan was for me to pick her up in the afternoon and them come down on sunday to pick her back up... It was nice visiting with them and of course seeing our neice which is always awesome, but I'm pretty sure I overdid it and had to go to bed early. I felt bad, but I had to listen to my body so that I could recoup faster.
Saturday March 19
I layed around most the day, I tried my best to hang out with Sean and his mom for at least a little bit, but it was hard given the circumstances. I had my mom bring me to my first dressing so that Sean could spend more time with his mom since she was only down for the weekend. BIG MISTAKE! It just confirmed my thoughts on having her at the hospital when we finally have a baby. Just waiting for the doctor to see me since I asked to get morphine before the dressing change so that it would help with the pain I knew I'd endure she drove me nuts! If it wasn't her trying to make small talk (about things I didn't want to talk about, including the fact that she wasn't impressed by the fact that my husband didn't buy me flowers! of all the things to be upset about, that's what she was upset about, I'd rather he clean my house and take over kitchen duties for me than buy me flowers that are just going to die and kind of a waste of money) it was her complaining about the wait time for the doctor. I just wanted to sit there in peace and wait, it didn't bother me, I just wanted something to help with the pain since the nurse the day before told me that at the next dressing change I should ask for the highest dose of morphine. I'd rather wait than go through the pain without it.
When I finally got my shot and it had time to set in, it was time for the much dreaded dressing change. I swear it hurt more that day than the previous one. It felt like she wasn't gentle at all when really it was her job to pack my wound tight with Mesalt and it was that resulting pressure that hurt so much. It absolutely didn't help when my decided to stroke my head to 'help' take my mind off the pain, if anything it made it worse. Not only was I in pain from the wound, I was also annoyed by my well meaning mother. Right there I decided that I would do whatever I had to do to avoid having her there with me again.
Week Starting March 20
Did I mention Sean did all the groceries and meal planning for the week? It was so nice to have him get a taste of what it's like for me to do them everyweek. He's been so great with everything this past week. I'm so glad I married him, he really is the one for me <3 I still wasn't able to visit much with his mom, but that's okay, I know she understood.
Sunday I had Sean drop me off for my dressing change. It went much better, not pain wise, but at least I didn't have anyone annoying me today... After that dressing change going almost as bad as the previous 2 days, I wasn't sure how much of it I could take and was really starting to dread having to come in everyday for one. Much to my surprise, by the 4th day, they were nearly painless. The wound didn't have to packed as tight which was a god send because it meant it was healing and that I could actually handle coming in everyday for a dressing change and could start to see a light at the end of this very long tunnel, lol.
By Tuesday, I could actually start sitting on my ass, something I hadn't done since the Wednesday before! It felt so nice, haha. My hips were getting sore from always laying on them so it was a nice break. Wednesday I was able to drive myself to the dressing changes, that too was also nice, being able to drive myself instead of needing a driver. It's amazing what you miss when you don't have it anymore. I was getting a little discouraged that I might not be able to swim on our vacation, but after today's (Thursday) change, it might actually be a possibility. The nurse said today, that since the wound isn't draining as much as it was, I can start skipping a day between changes, that's progress! I just hope I get to the point where it doesn't need to be packed anymore by the time we leave for vacation and that I can put on waterproof band-aids so I can go swimming.... I might not be able to do the zip-lining or dolphin swimming, but swimming in general would be awesome right now.
So that's what I've been up to. It's been a long week, but it's finally starting to get somewhere. Less than 2 weeks for me to heal up enough to swim. I think my body can do it!
I also want to thank all the doctors and nurses that have helped me out since this ordeal started. They were amazing while I was admitted and have been amazing ever since. I never once felt like I wasn't important or that they were too busy, which is odd since usually the ER takes forever, lol. Thanks!
That's what I had. I hope to never have one ever again, but at least I'll know to see a doctor sooner when my tailbone begins to hurt.
Friday March 11
My tailbone was a little tender. Didn't think anything of it. It continued for the whole weekend, only getting a little worse by the end of Sunday.
Monday March 14
Tailbone started hurting more. Did some research over the weekend about bruised tailbones so I called my chiropractor in hopes they might be able to help since I read that they might be able to with a bruised tailbone (which is what I thought it was at the time...). I started noticing some swelling, I just chalked it up to a really badly bruised/fractured tailbone since there was also some redness in the area that mistook for bruising.
Tuesday March 15
Swelling got much worse. It had turned into more of a welt than a little swelling and it hurt 10 times more. By the end of the workday I was in tears from the pain. Now I was starting to worry that it was something far more serious than a bruised/fractured tailbone but I kept my appointment with the chiro just incase it was nothing. I didn't want to waste a doctor's time or my own if I didn't have to.
Wednesday March 16
Went to my chiro appointment. I was in so much pain, I couldn't even stand to sit in my office chair, or stand, or lay down, or anything really. She wasn't able to help me, but advised me to go to the walk-in clinic because it needed medical attention and was likely an infection and they would take care of it for me. Even though she couldn't do anything for me, it helped me out when she told me what it likely was and how it would be taken care of. It helped calmed my nerves and prepared me before going into the doctors.
When I came back to the office, my boss could tell I was upset about it and told me to go home and rest and let him know what happens so that he could plan his time at the office while I wasn't there. I went home, relaxed for a bit and then headed to the doctors. I needed to get this fixed as it was starting to be quite painful and I could barely drive without wincing at the pain.
It didn't take super long at the clinic and the doctor knew right away what it was and advised me to go into the ER the next day to see the doctor there so that they could get this 'thing' taken care of quickly. In the meantime he prescribed some antibiotics to help with the infection until I could get into the ER. I ended up having to skip my sister's boyfriend's birthday shindig because of the pain :( I felt bad, but I just couldn't do it in the state I was in.
Thursday March 17
I got out of bed a little later, which was nice. It was nice to not deal with my boss, lol. I went into the ER like the doctor told me to. It was pretty bad. Within 30 minutes the doctor attending the ER called me back to take a look and pretty much immediately called down the general surgeon for a consult. Less than 30 minutes after the first doctor looked at me, the surgeon also looked at me and I had been admitted to the hospital as a patient and would be getting surgery sometime in the next 24 hours. After the surgeon looked at it, I had nurses in and out of my room for various things, blood samples, pain meds, one to collect personal valubles before going into surgery, and another to start an IV. Two hours after first getting to the ER, they had a bed for me on one of the other floors and that's where I would be staying until I was good enough to go home, whenever that might be. I was prepared that I would be having surgery, but I wasn't prepared to stay the night at the hospital. Seemed like I was caught off guard with that, even though I knew in the back of my head that that would be the case, it just didn't really sink in until I was almost set up for surgery.
At that 2 hour mark, another nurse got me in a wheelchair and got me to my room. I was basically being prepped for surgery which was going to be at 5pm (just 3 hours after first getting to the hospital!). I had to remove my nailpolish, all my peircings, my bobby pins, one nurse cleaned my back because I didn't have time to take a shower before they started calling for me in the operating room. By that point I had started feeling a little overwhelmed by how fast everything was happening. Could you really blame me? within less than 3 hours of getting to the ER (not even seeing a doctor yet, just getting registered) I was in the OR getting my Pilonidal Abscess operated on. It also happened to be the day AF showed up, so much fun! NOT!!! At least I got to deal with all the horrible-ness all at once... And AF wasn't even that horrible to deal with this time.
I got out of the OR after about an hour and back to my room. By that time, my mom was there... I would've rathered she not shown up. I don't know what it is, but she's just not comforting to me anymore, if anything she's an annoyance... Right off the bat she was wondering where my husband was. He was there before I went in and told me to text him when I was back in my room and he would come back to see me before visiting hours were over. I was fine with that, but she wasn't. It's not like it was a life threatening rare surgery, it was a common standard procedure surgery, in and out of the OR within 45 mins and awake and in my room within 60.
I spent my time in the hospital sleeping as much as I could. That's all there really is to do if you don't get a TV. It helped that my meds made me drowsy. I was awake for short periods, pretty much every hour. I didn't sleep well, but I slept a lot. It made for a very long night and long next day.
Friday March 18
I slept most of the day. I didn't know when I was getting out and being released. It bugged me, but there wasn't anything I could do. It just sucked because I knew his mom was coming down for the weekend and I was stuck in the hospital. I felt bad that I wouldn't be able to visit much with her while she was here, but at least I was on the mend from the horrible few days before this.
Sometime shortly before lunch was my first dressing change. I wish they would have warned me how much it was going to hurt. I think that was by far the most painful part of my whole experience. I just figured it was like a band-aid and you just changed it when it needed to be changed. I didn't know that it was whole process : ( Because of the gaping hole in my ass left by the abscess, I have to have it packed with Mesalt (litrally salt in the wound) to help draw out the infection and help it drain. The pressure they used to put it in and the stinging of the salt combined was too much to handle, and they even gave me some morphine in my IV to help, it basically didn't even do anything. It hurt like a mother fcuker! I'll tell you this, I'm almost looking forward to child birth after how much this hurt and for how long, lol.
The surgeon made his rounds in the afternoon and allowed me to be discharged as long as I would be able to come in everyday for dressing changes. Of course I lept at the chance to go home, but I kind of liked having all those nurses to take care of me or answer any questions that popped into my head. I got changed and made my way downstairs after getting my prescriptions from the nurse and set up my first dressing change and my husband came to pick me up during his coffee break. It was so nice to be home.
Of course, conveniently my phone was dying so all the attempts my mom made to get a hold of me I just blamed my not getting back to her on my (nearly) dead cell phone : P I didn't feel like talking to her or letting her know I was going home because I didn't want her to drop in for a visit or insist on taking me home. I have a husband to take care of me, I don't need my damn mommy!
Sean's sister and the gang came down to drop off his mom since it was more convenient for them, and coincedently myself as well since the original plan was for me to pick her up in the afternoon and them come down on sunday to pick her back up... It was nice visiting with them and of course seeing our neice which is always awesome, but I'm pretty sure I overdid it and had to go to bed early. I felt bad, but I had to listen to my body so that I could recoup faster.
Saturday March 19
I layed around most the day, I tried my best to hang out with Sean and his mom for at least a little bit, but it was hard given the circumstances. I had my mom bring me to my first dressing so that Sean could spend more time with his mom since she was only down for the weekend. BIG MISTAKE! It just confirmed my thoughts on having her at the hospital when we finally have a baby. Just waiting for the doctor to see me since I asked to get morphine before the dressing change so that it would help with the pain I knew I'd endure she drove me nuts! If it wasn't her trying to make small talk (about things I didn't want to talk about, including the fact that she wasn't impressed by the fact that my husband didn't buy me flowers! of all the things to be upset about, that's what she was upset about, I'd rather he clean my house and take over kitchen duties for me than buy me flowers that are just going to die and kind of a waste of money) it was her complaining about the wait time for the doctor. I just wanted to sit there in peace and wait, it didn't bother me, I just wanted something to help with the pain since the nurse the day before told me that at the next dressing change I should ask for the highest dose of morphine. I'd rather wait than go through the pain without it.
When I finally got my shot and it had time to set in, it was time for the much dreaded dressing change. I swear it hurt more that day than the previous one. It felt like she wasn't gentle at all when really it was her job to pack my wound tight with Mesalt and it was that resulting pressure that hurt so much. It absolutely didn't help when my decided to stroke my head to 'help' take my mind off the pain, if anything it made it worse. Not only was I in pain from the wound, I was also annoyed by my well meaning mother. Right there I decided that I would do whatever I had to do to avoid having her there with me again.
Week Starting March 20
Did I mention Sean did all the groceries and meal planning for the week? It was so nice to have him get a taste of what it's like for me to do them everyweek. He's been so great with everything this past week. I'm so glad I married him, he really is the one for me <3 I still wasn't able to visit much with his mom, but that's okay, I know she understood.
Sunday I had Sean drop me off for my dressing change. It went much better, not pain wise, but at least I didn't have anyone annoying me today... After that dressing change going almost as bad as the previous 2 days, I wasn't sure how much of it I could take and was really starting to dread having to come in everyday for one. Much to my surprise, by the 4th day, they were nearly painless. The wound didn't have to packed as tight which was a god send because it meant it was healing and that I could actually handle coming in everyday for a dressing change and could start to see a light at the end of this very long tunnel, lol.
By Tuesday, I could actually start sitting on my ass, something I hadn't done since the Wednesday before! It felt so nice, haha. My hips were getting sore from always laying on them so it was a nice break. Wednesday I was able to drive myself to the dressing changes, that too was also nice, being able to drive myself instead of needing a driver. It's amazing what you miss when you don't have it anymore. I was getting a little discouraged that I might not be able to swim on our vacation, but after today's (Thursday) change, it might actually be a possibility. The nurse said today, that since the wound isn't draining as much as it was, I can start skipping a day between changes, that's progress! I just hope I get to the point where it doesn't need to be packed anymore by the time we leave for vacation and that I can put on waterproof band-aids so I can go swimming.... I might not be able to do the zip-lining or dolphin swimming, but swimming in general would be awesome right now.
So that's what I've been up to. It's been a long week, but it's finally starting to get somewhere. Less than 2 weeks for me to heal up enough to swim. I think my body can do it!
I also want to thank all the doctors and nurses that have helped me out since this ordeal started. They were amazing while I was admitted and have been amazing ever since. I never once felt like I wasn't important or that they were too busy, which is odd since usually the ER takes forever, lol. Thanks!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
a little frustrated
(cycle 6, day 21, 4 dpo)
well i ovulated right on schedule, cd 17. who knew using an actual basal thermometer would make that much of a difference? certainly not me, lol. its amazing how regulated my temps actually are when using the right thermometer, and clear as day when i o'd. too bad hubby still doesn't understand how the female cycle works even after i explained it to him last cycle.... so because of that, we missed out on this cycle : ( i am bummed because of it because it feels like he's not even trying and therefore doesnt actually want a baby. i know that's not how it actually feels, but all his ignorace is really starting to wear on me. i told him back when i started this cycle when i would be fertile so that he knew so he could actually do something about it. what happened this month? he was incredibly busy during that time and never got around to bd'ing until 2 days after i o'd. a cycle wasted. when i told him it was too late for a baby, he just sounded like he didnt believe me that that's how it works, that once you ovulate you basically have that day and possibly the next to make it happen if you haven't already. a complete waste. i can't even explain how i feel about this. i know that when af shows up, even though i know she will because we didn't do anything this cycle, i'll still be upset, like i failed somehow. i know its a crazy thought, but when its something you want so bad and month after month is wasted from lack of effort, it gets discouraging. i really hope he remembers that i told him i'll be fertile again at the end of march/beginning of april and actually does something about it.
the good thing to come out of this? our vacation. i'll be able to drink and do things that i possibly wouldn't have been able to do (like swim with dolphins, there's a disclaimer right on their website) if i was pregnant. i'm still bummed that i won't be, but at least i can take full advantage of the all inclusive feature of our vacation. it will aslo help pass the time while i'm in the 2ww. i'll still have a few days when we get back to fret over it and overanalize any symptom i may or may not have, but at least i won't have the full two weeks to do that.... and if it does happen next month? i'll end up with a christmas baby. the one thing i didn't want when we decided to start a family, haha. it would just figure that that would be what happens.
well i ovulated right on schedule, cd 17. who knew using an actual basal thermometer would make that much of a difference? certainly not me, lol. its amazing how regulated my temps actually are when using the right thermometer, and clear as day when i o'd. too bad hubby still doesn't understand how the female cycle works even after i explained it to him last cycle.... so because of that, we missed out on this cycle : ( i am bummed because of it because it feels like he's not even trying and therefore doesnt actually want a baby. i know that's not how it actually feels, but all his ignorace is really starting to wear on me. i told him back when i started this cycle when i would be fertile so that he knew so he could actually do something about it. what happened this month? he was incredibly busy during that time and never got around to bd'ing until 2 days after i o'd. a cycle wasted. when i told him it was too late for a baby, he just sounded like he didnt believe me that that's how it works, that once you ovulate you basically have that day and possibly the next to make it happen if you haven't already. a complete waste. i can't even explain how i feel about this. i know that when af shows up, even though i know she will because we didn't do anything this cycle, i'll still be upset, like i failed somehow. i know its a crazy thought, but when its something you want so bad and month after month is wasted from lack of effort, it gets discouraging. i really hope he remembers that i told him i'll be fertile again at the end of march/beginning of april and actually does something about it.
the good thing to come out of this? our vacation. i'll be able to drink and do things that i possibly wouldn't have been able to do (like swim with dolphins, there's a disclaimer right on their website) if i was pregnant. i'm still bummed that i won't be, but at least i can take full advantage of the all inclusive feature of our vacation. it will aslo help pass the time while i'm in the 2ww. i'll still have a few days when we get back to fret over it and overanalize any symptom i may or may not have, but at least i won't have the full two weeks to do that.... and if it does happen next month? i'll end up with a christmas baby. the one thing i didn't want when we decided to start a family, haha. it would just figure that that would be what happens.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Lots to Update
(cycle 6, day 14)
lots is going on lately. it seems we're always busy, or at least one of us always has something on the go. its getting a little tiring never really getting quality time together other than when we're laying in bed after a long day. it sucks, i won't lie about that. it's making me look forward to that week in mexico even more since i will get his undivided attention, something i haven't had much of since san diego...
sean's been working on his uncles truck outside of work hours, so that keeps him away. he was at the shop wednesday night, friday night, saturday, last night and tonight. on friday he also went out with friends to play hockey at the local outdoor rink. i dont mind him doing the extra work, its just tiring when he's never home to help me out with keeping the house in order.
on friday i started a weekend project, the linen closet. i probably couldve had it done a day sooner, but we didn't have any drywall mud left from the basement and i wanted to do it right instead of just good enough. so i had to wait until morning to buy more. so i patched the holes that were left from taking out the old shelving brackets and then had to wait for the mud to dry.... so sunday morning i woke up and got to work on painting the closet so that i could put up the new sheves that night and be done and put everything back in there before the week started. it turned out great and i did all of it myself without ANY help. i even took the door off and put back up by myself. i'm pretty proud about that. and i love that its all organized and more useful instead of one useless shelf at the top and only 2 others. now i have 4 functional shelves : ) the only thing left is to eventually replace the door when we replace the rest in the house that aren't new, oh and buy a new door pull to replace the stupid wood one on the door right now, haha.
while i was waiting on the mud to dry on my weekend project, i went for an impromptu trip to the city with my aunt to go shopping and see my cousins that i havent seen since xmas, which is the main reason i agreed to go ; ) it was also nice to get out of the house for a bit too. that night we caught up on all our shows that we download from the week so it was nice to relax with him even for just a few hours of the weekend. on sunday, while i was waiting for the paint to dry i spend the day at a girlfriends for a 'spa day' to celebrate her birthday. it took a lot longer than i thought it would, but again, it was nice to get out of the house and socialize. after i finally got home, i went out and did groceries, then put up the new shelves in the closet and went to bed. it was a very busy weekend and i never even got any studying in!
its so hard to keep up when i'm having to do the work of 2 people around the house because seans too busy. if i'm not working i'm studying, if i'm working or studying i'm attempting to clean the house and catch up on dishes, if i'm not doing any of those i'm making supper, and if i have any time after all of that, it's watching our designated shows on designated nights with no real quality time together. it's really starting to get to me and i'm getting irritable because of it. i'm finding myself wanting to freak out on people who probably don't deserve it. i want life to slow down and go back to normal before the wedding. we've been going a million miles a minute ever since the wedding with the reno to the basement, the holidays, winding down from the holidays and then the craziness of winning the lottery. i just want it to stop! i dont see an end in sight for our busy lives at least until after our week in mexico : (
to top off our busy schedule, my mother-in-law is coming out next week for 2 weeks. at least she'll be at his sister's for most of it, but i'm sure we'll have to go see her after she gets here, and then have her down for a weekend before she leaves. its a lot to handle right now in the middle of everything else we have going on.
this busy life we have right now can GO TO HELL!
lots is going on lately. it seems we're always busy, or at least one of us always has something on the go. its getting a little tiring never really getting quality time together other than when we're laying in bed after a long day. it sucks, i won't lie about that. it's making me look forward to that week in mexico even more since i will get his undivided attention, something i haven't had much of since san diego...
sean's been working on his uncles truck outside of work hours, so that keeps him away. he was at the shop wednesday night, friday night, saturday, last night and tonight. on friday he also went out with friends to play hockey at the local outdoor rink. i dont mind him doing the extra work, its just tiring when he's never home to help me out with keeping the house in order.
while i was waiting on the mud to dry on my weekend project, i went for an impromptu trip to the city with my aunt to go shopping and see my cousins that i havent seen since xmas, which is the main reason i agreed to go ; ) it was also nice to get out of the house for a bit too. that night we caught up on all our shows that we download from the week so it was nice to relax with him even for just a few hours of the weekend. on sunday, while i was waiting for the paint to dry i spend the day at a girlfriends for a 'spa day' to celebrate her birthday. it took a lot longer than i thought it would, but again, it was nice to get out of the house and socialize. after i finally got home, i went out and did groceries, then put up the new shelves in the closet and went to bed. it was a very busy weekend and i never even got any studying in!
its so hard to keep up when i'm having to do the work of 2 people around the house because seans too busy. if i'm not working i'm studying, if i'm working or studying i'm attempting to clean the house and catch up on dishes, if i'm not doing any of those i'm making supper, and if i have any time after all of that, it's watching our designated shows on designated nights with no real quality time together. it's really starting to get to me and i'm getting irritable because of it. i'm finding myself wanting to freak out on people who probably don't deserve it. i want life to slow down and go back to normal before the wedding. we've been going a million miles a minute ever since the wedding with the reno to the basement, the holidays, winding down from the holidays and then the craziness of winning the lottery. i just want it to stop! i dont see an end in sight for our busy lives at least until after our week in mexico : (
to top off our busy schedule, my mother-in-law is coming out next week for 2 weeks. at least she'll be at his sister's for most of it, but i'm sure we'll have to go see her after she gets here, and then have her down for a weekend before she leaves. its a lot to handle right now in the middle of everything else we have going on.
this busy life we have right now can GO TO HELL!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
No Baby.... Yet
(cycle 6, day 8)
I should've known better than to have been caught up in thinking I was pregnant. I've just been so hopeful that if it was somewhat timed right, it would happen easily.
Damn my mother for giving me false hope because I'm a "Kennedy". Just because half my body are her genes, doesn't automatically mean I will be just as fertile as she was, or my grandmother was, or my great grandmothers were. Half my genes are from my dad. If she didn't get her tubes tied, she'd have a lot more kids right now like my great grandmothers (one had 8 and the other 15!). My grandpa had a vasectomy so they wouldn't have more kids. Basically, if they wanted one, the most it took was a month or two.
My dad's side, I don't really know if they were a fertile bunch or not. There was just the two of them for my memere.... One of my cousins took 8 months to get pregnant and she had a miscarriage at 5 months a few years before that sweet little boy.
I guess I shouldn't be hoping something will happen if we don't actually give it an honest try. If it did happen, I'd say I'm fertile Myrtle since it would've been a one shot deal, but it didn't. Of course I was bummed when AF showed up, not surprised, just bummed.
So with this new cycle, I've started using a basal thermometer in hopes that it reads my temps more clearly and they aren't as erratic so its clearer when I ovulate. I still have to wait til at least next weekend to find out if it does the job or not and then wait another 2 weeks on top of that to find out if we do the job right this cycle. At this point, I'm almost hoping it doesn't happen so that I don't have to deal with possible pregnancy symptoms on our vacation (morning sickness would just plain suck to have during that week) but I don't want to wait yet another month for it to happen. And if it did happen in the next cycle and not this one, I don't want a Christmas baby and it would be all to likely if we wait a month....
Ahhhh!!! This whole baby making business is just so frustrating :-(
I should've known better than to have been caught up in thinking I was pregnant. I've just been so hopeful that if it was somewhat timed right, it would happen easily.
Damn my mother for giving me false hope because I'm a "Kennedy". Just because half my body are her genes, doesn't automatically mean I will be just as fertile as she was, or my grandmother was, or my great grandmothers were. Half my genes are from my dad. If she didn't get her tubes tied, she'd have a lot more kids right now like my great grandmothers (one had 8 and the other 15!). My grandpa had a vasectomy so they wouldn't have more kids. Basically, if they wanted one, the most it took was a month or two.
My dad's side, I don't really know if they were a fertile bunch or not. There was just the two of them for my memere.... One of my cousins took 8 months to get pregnant and she had a miscarriage at 5 months a few years before that sweet little boy.
I guess I shouldn't be hoping something will happen if we don't actually give it an honest try. If it did happen, I'd say I'm fertile Myrtle since it would've been a one shot deal, but it didn't. Of course I was bummed when AF showed up, not surprised, just bummed.
So with this new cycle, I've started using a basal thermometer in hopes that it reads my temps more clearly and they aren't as erratic so its clearer when I ovulate. I still have to wait til at least next weekend to find out if it does the job or not and then wait another 2 weeks on top of that to find out if we do the job right this cycle. At this point, I'm almost hoping it doesn't happen so that I don't have to deal with possible pregnancy symptoms on our vacation (morning sickness would just plain suck to have during that week) but I don't want to wait yet another month for it to happen. And if it did happen in the next cycle and not this one, I don't want a Christmas baby and it would be all to likely if we wait a month....
Ahhhh!!! This whole baby making business is just so frustrating :-(
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
MEXICO!!!
so we finally decided where to go for our vacation!
so we're going to the Catalonia Yucatan in the Maya Riviera! its in Playa Aventuras only 15 minutes from Playa del Carmen and 60 minutes from Cancun airport. there's so much we want to do and i think we will our days nicely between activity days and lazy days : ) we plan on at least one round of golf (yes, me, golf, lol. maybe we'll end up like my grandparents and spend our future retirement golfing, haha), ziplining, touring some ruins, possibly spend a day in Cozumel and a day in Playa del Carmen, and spend the rest of our time doing things at the resort. so looking forward to this!
it was so hard choosing from all the choices we got from the travel agent. it was pretty easy to narrow it down to Jamaica and Mexico, but we couldn't decide which one and which hotel at each to go with. they all looked so amazing.
we asked a few friends, unfortunately none of them have been to both, either one or the other so we never really got a good enough answer. most said to go to Jamaica, but something kept bringing us back to Mexico. we each did some research on things we can do and Jamaica just seemed like it was going to be a bit difficult to find things to do outside of the resort. let's face it, there really isn't much to do at the resorts that you wouldn't be bored after a few days and then spend the last few days grumpy cuz there's nothing to do, lol.
so our final decision was made and helped by a good friend that really recommended Mexico and the fact that we would spend less time at airports and in the air because Mexico is a direct flight and we would have to fly to Toronto first to go to Jamaica. i'd already been to the area about 4 years ago so i'm familiar with all there is to do (one of the reasons we were leaning towards Jamaica was because neither us had been there). after we decided where we were going, we just had to figure out which resort to stay at. that decision was made easier by looking at a google map of each and seeing how the resorts were laid out. one was quite a lot bigger than the other with more rooms, but if you ended up in the last building, it was quite a walk to get to the restaraunts and bars. the other was much more compact with 80% less rooms, which meant less walking at the resort.
so we're going to the Catalonia Yucatan in the Maya Riviera! its in Playa Aventuras only 15 minutes from Playa del Carmen and 60 minutes from Cancun airport. there's so much we want to do and i think we will our days nicely between activity days and lazy days : ) we plan on at least one round of golf (yes, me, golf, lol. maybe we'll end up like my grandparents and spend our future retirement golfing, haha), ziplining, touring some ruins, possibly spend a day in Cozumel and a day in Playa del Carmen, and spend the rest of our time doing things at the resort. so looking forward to this!
Maybe Baby?
(cycle 5, day 31)
fertility friend has no clue when i ovulated now. go figure. AF hasn't shown up yet so technically i'm late by my average cycle length. i'm just far too nervous and anxious to test even though i've wanted to for the last 2 days. if AF hasn't shown up by the time i wake up tomoro morning, i'm testing. i can't take the wait anymore, haha. the 2WW is excrutiating!
and since i'm in the 2WW, i'm trying desperately not to read too much into any possible symptoms i might be feeling. like the frequent urination (but could be because of the extra water i'm drinking), headaches (could be the weather or stress), backaches, starving by 9:30 after i eat a bowl of cereal at 7....
guess we'll find out tomoro.... this is going to be the longest 15 hours ever!
UPDATE: so this mornings test was a BFN and i spotted all morning, like nothing on a pad and only when i wipe. but its not really blood, its like blood streaked CM. so i don't know if that's AF just taking her time, but it has kinda teetered off this afternoon so maybe it was implantation bleeding??? i just read a bunch of stuff online and it could happen this late (12dpo). a lot of it said that it would occur before your luteal phase (the time between ovulation and your period) but that's if your luteal phase isn't 12 days like mine. so if that's the case, it very well could be implantation of a fetus.... gah, i hate hormones, my cycle, the internet and all it's info at my fingertips, the 2ww, spotting, uncertainty and BFN's.
fertility friend has no clue when i ovulated now. go figure. AF hasn't shown up yet so technically i'm late by my average cycle length. i'm just far too nervous and anxious to test even though i've wanted to for the last 2 days. if AF hasn't shown up by the time i wake up tomoro morning, i'm testing. i can't take the wait anymore, haha. the 2WW is excrutiating!
and since i'm in the 2WW, i'm trying desperately not to read too much into any possible symptoms i might be feeling. like the frequent urination (but could be because of the extra water i'm drinking), headaches (could be the weather or stress), backaches, starving by 9:30 after i eat a bowl of cereal at 7....
guess we'll find out tomoro.... this is going to be the longest 15 hours ever!
UPDATE: so this mornings test was a BFN and i spotted all morning, like nothing on a pad and only when i wipe. but its not really blood, its like blood streaked CM. so i don't know if that's AF just taking her time, but it has kinda teetered off this afternoon so maybe it was implantation bleeding??? i just read a bunch of stuff online and it could happen this late (12dpo). a lot of it said that it would occur before your luteal phase (the time between ovulation and your period) but that's if your luteal phase isn't 12 days like mine. so if that's the case, it very well could be implantation of a fetus.... gah, i hate hormones, my cycle, the internet and all it's info at my fingertips, the 2ww, spotting, uncertainty and BFN's.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
BOTB (baby on the brain)
(cycle 5, day 25)
so apparently i ovulated on cycle day 11. i dont see how that makes any sense as that would mean that i am now late, but my temps are all kinds of crazy this month. it does follow a pattern throughout the week though. but i'm pretty sure i ovulated around cd 17 or 18 so next week i would be late.
with that being said, i'm also not taking any kind of symptoms i may or may not have (they might just be in my head or coincidental) to heart and gonna start thinking i'm pregnant. i did that once already and had myself convinced and had it turn out to be nothing but a typical cycle. i didnt have the cramps that i did that month, but i'm still not going to compare once cycle to the next. so next week, on valentine's day, i'm going to test if i haven't gotten aunt flo yet. here's hoping!
so apparently i ovulated on cycle day 11. i dont see how that makes any sense as that would mean that i am now late, but my temps are all kinds of crazy this month. it does follow a pattern throughout the week though. but i'm pretty sure i ovulated around cd 17 or 18 so next week i would be late.
with that being said, i'm also not taking any kind of symptoms i may or may not have (they might just be in my head or coincidental) to heart and gonna start thinking i'm pregnant. i did that once already and had myself convinced and had it turn out to be nothing but a typical cycle. i didnt have the cramps that i did that month, but i'm still not going to compare once cycle to the next. so next week, on valentine's day, i'm going to test if i haven't gotten aunt flo yet. here's hoping!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
What A Busy Week!
(cycle 5, day 18)
apparently winning the lottery makes you very busy, lol.
first thing monday morning sean ordered our new vehicles. i was a little surprised he moved on it that quick, but he was doing it for a sale that was ending that same day. see, winning the lottery hasn't changed the way we think about money, haha. So mine was in by the afternoon and his was in the next afternoon. i was pretty excited about it and kept hoping to take it home. not that i dont love my car because i do, i've been driving the terrain today, and i miss the stick shift already : (
monday night we got to go see sean's sister and the baby (see pic in previous post). gah, i cant believe she's finally here. now if only we had one, lol. we had a good visit. sean was a little scared to pick her up since she's so tiny, but he's getting used to it. when we saw them on tuesday, we was getting better at moving her around without being afraid of breaking her. now if i can just get him to change a diaper....
tuesday we took the day off since we didnt know how long any of what we needed to do would take us. we had an interview with ALGC for our winnings and for them to confirm details so that it was ours free and clear. we had leave without a cheque since they had to send all the information to winnipeg and they were too busy to get it done before we left the city for home. we stopped in to visit sean's old shop and his sister again since she was still in the hospital. he just has a smile plastered on his face when he sees his little neice. i love the look on his face when he looks at her <3 when we got back to town, we went to the bank to get new accounts set up for the money so that we can change the way we pay bills and split our money. im glad we're finally doing that since it's the way i wanted to do it but would've taken me years to get sean to agree to it, lol. we spent the rest of the afternoon doing little things and visiting with friends at the shop, he was even lucky enough to take his new truck home for the night.
hopefully life starts calming down a bit now that we have the big things figured out...
apparently winning the lottery makes you very busy, lol.
first thing monday morning sean ordered our new vehicles. i was a little surprised he moved on it that quick, but he was doing it for a sale that was ending that same day. see, winning the lottery hasn't changed the way we think about money, haha. So mine was in by the afternoon and his was in the next afternoon. i was pretty excited about it and kept hoping to take it home. not that i dont love my car because i do, i've been driving the terrain today, and i miss the stick shift already : (
monday night we got to go see sean's sister and the baby (see pic in previous post). gah, i cant believe she's finally here. now if only we had one, lol. we had a good visit. sean was a little scared to pick her up since she's so tiny, but he's getting used to it. when we saw them on tuesday, we was getting better at moving her around without being afraid of breaking her. now if i can just get him to change a diaper....
tuesday we took the day off since we didnt know how long any of what we needed to do would take us. we had an interview with ALGC for our winnings and for them to confirm details so that it was ours free and clear. we had leave without a cheque since they had to send all the information to winnipeg and they were too busy to get it done before we left the city for home. we stopped in to visit sean's old shop and his sister again since she was still in the hospital. he just has a smile plastered on his face when he sees his little neice. i love the look on his face when he looks at her <3 when we got back to town, we went to the bank to get new accounts set up for the money so that we can change the way we pay bills and split our money. im glad we're finally doing that since it's the way i wanted to do it but would've taken me years to get sean to agree to it, lol. we spent the rest of the afternoon doing little things and visiting with friends at the shop, he was even lucky enough to take his new truck home for the night.
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| Terrain SLT |
today, we found out the paper had printed our story without calling us to confirm details or ask permission to print our names. i was a little pissed, mostly just for the fact that no one called us and we ended up in the paper with wrong information. they said we had won $3.8million when we wont about $3.4million less than that. that damn paper has a hard time with spelling and grammar all the time, i'm not really surprised they got the amount wrong, it just bothers me that no one called first. we also got to take our new vehicles home. of course that was a ton of work too. we had to sign papers, then get pink slips at the insurance office. then go back and get the run down on them and finally go home in our new vehicles. so far i like mine, its a lot bigger that my little pursuit but there's so many things it does that my little car didn't. it will be a hell of a lot more convenient for kids than my 2-door coupe.
tomoro will be a huge day, not as busy, just big. WE GET THE CHEQUE TOMORO!!! so sean's getting the cheque at work and then i'll meet him at the bank to deposit it. shouldnt take too long. after work, we also have a preliminary meeting for investments and to figure out what we should do where the mortgage is concerned. just a lot to figure out with all this money.
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