last chance for a while

(cycle 37, day 17, 3 dpo)

this is the last cycle we can actually TTC for a while  :'(  realized that the due date for next cycle would prevent us from going east for MIL's wedding and DH really wants to go to see family he hasn't seen in a long time. I wouldn't mind skipping it, but I know it means a lot to him to see that side of his family that I can't do that to him. after that wedding, only a couple months later we have another wedding to go east for and its one I wouldn't miss for anything, my BF's. we've been friends for over 20 years and she's asked me to be a BM. since she doesn't have an official date picked yet, i'm not sure how long of a break we will need to take. there might be a cycle in between that we can try if there's enough time between the 2 weddings, but we might as well wait until around march of 2014 to get back to TTC. it really sucks because its extending the process by half a year after we've already been trying for so long. so much is riding on this cycle.

tomoro is my apt with the specialist finally and i'm hoping that because there is a chance this cycle could work, that he'll be willing to test my progesterone to rule that out. I don't know if he will or if he would just prescribe it as a precaution like my doc did last time, but i'd like to know if progesterone is in fact an issue for me. at least after this cycle, I have time to get a lot of testing done without a pregnancy either cutting it short or skewing results. maybe the threat of testing will be enough to scare my body into working properly and allowing a pregnancy to happen and go to term. its happened for a number of women I know, I just hope I can be one of them...