renewed hope

I haven't had this feeling in a very long time. I actually feel like we'll be able to get pregnant and not have to wait much longer (other than how long we've already waited of course). I don't feel all doom and gloom like I was for the last, oh I don't know, 2 years? since well before getting pregnant the second time and it continued after that MC too because I felt like I'd have to wait just as long for a third pregnancy (which its already been that long, but you get my drift). I feel like its right around the corner for us now  : )

it must be because I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders after my apt with my doc yesterday. I feel like we're getting somewhere, especially with getting 2 rounds of clomid. I've heard and read so many success stories of women getting pregnant using clomid that it makes me hopeful. I missed being hopeful, a lot. lately its been "if we get to have kids..." instead of "when". now I feel like we'll actually get to have those kids and not have to limit ourselves to one because of how much work its taking to get that one. I no longer feel stuck in a circle of ttc, trying each month and having AF show up each of those months. like seriously, a completely renewed hope. I wonder how long this hope will last though...

and then of course i'll be absolutely terrified of MCing yet again when we do get pregnant. so much so that I feel like I should continue with every day life the way it is now instead of taking it easy because I will inevitably lose it. but I don't want to drag this few and far between happy about ttc post with fears of when I do get pregnant.

so I remain hopeful that we'll get pregnant very soon  ; )