(cycle 18, day 21, 3 dpo)
yep, i finally ovulated! seemed like it took forever since i had a + OPK on friday and didn't O til monday... the digi OPKs must pick up on the hormones/surge sooner than the cheapies since O usually occured the next day with those. i'll be testing at the end of next week, but i'm also scared shitless about testing, almost terrified. i don't want to see a stark white test after all we've been through to get to this point and then have AF show up just a couple days later. i want our baby so badly that it scares me to not be successful even though its our first cycle post MC that effort was put in. i'm also scared of actually getting another BFP even though i will monitored much more closely this time around due to the MC. this fear didn't start creeping in until after the anger i had towards trying again subsided and now its all i can think off. just last week i was bitter about this process and now i'm afraid of it.
the up-side to getting a BFP is that the gyno at the hospital wants me in right away for blood work to check my HCG levels and i'm guessing progestrone levels as well. he also wants me in for an US between weeks 4-6 to make sure something is growing in there, and growing properly. i was going to ask my own doc to send me for all this anyway, but its a comfort that the gyno wants it done as well. but it still doesn't make that fear go away at this point...
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