Where to Begin?

(cycle 29, day 3)

its been quite a while since i last updated... i wish i could post some good news about a vacation BFP, but of course, that didn't happen :-/ we only BDd our first night away and i O'd the day after getting home and we didn't BD til about a week after that, so... yeah. still baby-less. fuck.

anyway, i guess i should get up to speed on life and whatnot so i'm not totally falling behind on my blogging.

obviously i didn't get a BFP from my november cycle after seeing my doc. so i carried on to cycle 28 for the month of december. i didn't do any supplements/vitamins either. i didn't see a point since i wasn't going to bring them on vacation with me which was also the week before O, so i just didn't bother. at least i still had the same cycle timing as the last 3 without taking it, so that's got to be good right?

house progress has been a little slow the past month, but that's okay. i think we needed the mental break from it. we did get the preliminary electrical inspection passed, so we can totally insulate and vapour barrier the entire thing to get it warm. we also need to get the plumbing in (something that needs to be done to fully finish insulating). we've gone this long without it totally insulated, i'm not really worried about the rest of winter. DH did get the rest of the upstairs walls insulated and a good portion of the garage walls insulated, so we're getting there. we also have to put up the vapour barrier on the ceiling upstairs so we can put up that drywall so we can get the blown-in insulation in that part of the house so we're no longer losing heat from that side of the house. we still have a wall to move upstairs, so we'll probably have to get the blown-in done twice, but we gotta do what we gotta do. i'm hoping we'll be totally drywalling by end of this month so we can get started on finishes and whatnot. we're nearing the home stretch! *hopefully*

we also had the fire dept xmas party at the beginning of december. at which we decided that we're going to spend next xmas back in ontario with DH's family and also my dad's family. neither of which we've celebrated xmas with in at least 11 years! it will be so nice to go back home for the holidays. we haven't been back to ontario since summer of '09, so its a bit overdue : )

we'd love to be able to bring a LO back with us to meet everyone, so we've also decided to actively TTC the next 3 cycles in hopes of that becoming a reality.

i'm not sure how i feel about TTC again. i'm still sad that we even have to continue trying for take home baby #1 since we were supposed to have been celebrating this xmas with our 3 month old baby... putting their first ornaments on tree, getting ungodly early on xmas morning because the baby woke up, showing off our LO in their xmas outfits at getogethers... its actually a little depressing that instead of doing that, i'm wishing for what could have been and not looking forward to what could be and not really truely celebrating the holidays. it hasn't helped that the house is a mess so it hasn't really even felt like xmas and being in mexico just a week before xmas messed us up too (only messed up feeling festive, not messed up being relaxed or anything, cuz it definately helped do that).

anyway, back on topic with keeping up to date...

so yeah, my mom is in a bit of a huff in case we do manage to get pregnant in the next 3 months. figures. but whatever. apparently i'm not allowed to live my life as an adult and we can't make our own decision about where we spend xmas once a baby is in the picture *insert eye rolls* yeah, she even went so far as to tell me that she would be deeply hurt and might not be able to forgive us if we took her first grandbaby away for their first xmas. ugh. its not like they're going to be grabbing at wrapping paper and know wtf is going on anyway... the oldest they would be is 3 months by xmas (and that's if we hit the jackpot and get pregnant this first month trying again) so they won't remember any of it anyway. besides, its not important where we celebrate xmas, its just important that us as parents are spending it with our kids. my mom should also know by now that when she makes comments like that, it only makes me want to go against her even more and do exactly what she doesn't want us to do, so if i do get pregnant in the next 3 months, i guess i'll have her to thank ; )

xmas was good, other than that bit of cloudiness thanks to my mom. laid back so we really got a chance to take it easy. we also didn't do anything house related until the day after boxing day. we did the big family thing on the 22nd with chinese food to avoid a bit cleanup. by the end of the night, there was some friendly competition going on with who could get their wine glass singing. my poor cousin didn't have much luck for quite a while and everyone got a good laugh. my mom actually has a hilarious video at her attempt. xmas eve, we did turkey at our house so that i would have leftover to make soup since i had just run out of my supply from my last batch. we had my sis and FBIL and his sisters over and then played "life" a couple times after. good times. xmas morning we spent at home, the first time my mom hasn't made us go over there to open gifts. it was nice not having to rush out the door after just waking up because she wants us to open presents. that afternoon we headed to her place to open gifts before dinner. it was nice that she didn't buy us a bunch of crap we won't use, but she's still got the problem of having to buy as many gifts as she can til she gets to whatever limit she sets out to spend. would've rathered some candy in my stocking over a couple things, but that's alright. i'd wish she's stop buying my ornaments though since i've started picking and choosing which ones go on the tree becuase i simply have too many. 25 would've been a good year for her to stop. i don't want to be 60 years old and still getting them for crying out loud!

DH started working on the house the day after boxing day. i did some sewing (hemming new pants) and baking and soup making. i think i have enough soup for us to have some at least every other week until next xmas! that's a lot of soup!!! i don't think i'll be making quite so much next time, but we'll see how long my stash lasts... we're now back to work after only working 10 days in december, guess it had to end at some point. i just hope 2013 is better for us than 2012 was *fingers crossed*