disappointment

(cycle 32, post O)

even though I know we had to avoid pregnancy this month so we can still plan our xmas trip, I still felt disappointed to not be TTC. I feel like i'm going against everything I've known for the last 2.5 years to actually purposely not get pregnant seems totally wrong right now. its not like the breaks we've taken in the past where it was just let what happen, happen.

I will have to have a talk with the hubby about pulling out when we get back to NTNP, cuz if he does that all the time, no surprise pregnancy can ever happen... its entirely frustrating and as frustrating as it is right now while we're supposed to be taking a break, it will be even more so when its okay to NTNP because it will be at a point where if I did get pregnant, I wouldn't be too far along that we could still travel at xmas...

I wouldn't have to be thinking about any of this if: a) I didn't MC in the first place; and b) we weren't building the addition.