One of Those Days...

i'm having one of those days where i'm completely pessimistic about TTC. I was looking forward to finishing the house, but even that's not looking very promising anymore  :-/  DH had a stressful weekend with things not quite going the way he wanted and it just left me wondering if we'll ever be a point in this process where he's not completely stressed out. I've been waiting for that point for far too long because that will be the point where we can begin TTC again and after this weekend, its feeling even further away than it was already feeling. we're not getting any younger and this house just keeps taking longer. DH even suggesting trying to extend out permit again... extending the permit means we don't exactly have a set finish date because we can definitely finish in an additional 3 months (end of October) but i'm just so done with this waiting just like he's so done with the house. this waiting thing is beginning to take its toll. we haven't really talked about TTC or our future kids (other than when it relates to what we're doing with the house) in a few months. it almost feels like we've decided to live without kids forever and then this whole addition would be a waste of time.

it doesn't help seeing all these women getting BFPs and I can't even do anything about it since we're not even talking about trying at this point. I feel terrible saying this, but I can't even really be happy for anyone announcing a pregnancy anymore. I just want so badly to even have a chance at ever being pregnant again that hearing about everyone else who's able to get pregnant it just adding salt to my wound. a wound I thought was better at this point, but after this weekend, its been reopened  :'(

i'm hoping all these feeling of hopelessness are for nothing and i'm talking out of my ass and we somehow manage to finish this addition in the next 2 months (or at least as far as just paint and trim work left to finish in July). That in itself would be a miracle! but i'm still not very hopeful of that happening...