maybe i'm not getting sick! today, my throat is much better, so I think I might be out of the woods on this one.
I've got some cramping going on, so i'm beginning to be hopeful about this cycle, but i'm still not reading too much into it because i'm assuming AF will show up Monday as scheduled.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
getting another cold
(cycle 31, day 23, 8 dpo)
i'm getting sick : (
I last was sick at the end of January with a sore throat followed by a stuffed nose. i'm getting the sore throat again... I hope it doesn't get worse cuz I have plans this weekend! I also don't want to take anything like last time cuz of the possibility of being pregnant.
on that note, 8 dpo, and i'm not sure. I don't want to make assumptions based on symptoms since that hasn't worked so well for me that last few cycles. after last cycle, I told myself I wasn't going to do the same thing anymore. i'm tired of being let down month after month. I've been doing pretty good with forgetting what day of my cycle i'm on and I've been pretty laid back and not wanting to POAS already. i'm hoping the busy weekend will complete that train of thought and I can make it to Monday before even considering testing, but of course won't test on Monday since AF is due and i'd like to give her a chance to show up first before wasting my last cheapie (I guess its time I finally restock on those...)
of course, I can't completely ignore what symptoms I may have, i'm just not going to let them make me think i'm in fact pregnant and cause me to test early. so far, I think I've had some cramping the last day or so that's maybe more prominent than the last couple cycles that make me think it could be implantation like the cycle I actually did get pregnant. my boobs (well more like my chest) is finally starting to get sore, that's normally the case a couple days earlier than this, so i'm hoping the delay in that happening is due to pregnancy. but again, no testing for me yet. I've got another week ahead of me...
i'm getting sick : (
I last was sick at the end of January with a sore throat followed by a stuffed nose. i'm getting the sore throat again... I hope it doesn't get worse cuz I have plans this weekend! I also don't want to take anything like last time cuz of the possibility of being pregnant.
on that note, 8 dpo, and i'm not sure. I don't want to make assumptions based on symptoms since that hasn't worked so well for me that last few cycles. after last cycle, I told myself I wasn't going to do the same thing anymore. i'm tired of being let down month after month. I've been doing pretty good with forgetting what day of my cycle i'm on and I've been pretty laid back and not wanting to POAS already. i'm hoping the busy weekend will complete that train of thought and I can make it to Monday before even considering testing, but of course won't test on Monday since AF is due and i'd like to give her a chance to show up first before wasting my last cheapie (I guess its time I finally restock on those...)
of course, I can't completely ignore what symptoms I may have, i'm just not going to let them make me think i'm in fact pregnant and cause me to test early. so far, I think I've had some cramping the last day or so that's maybe more prominent than the last couple cycles that make me think it could be implantation like the cycle I actually did get pregnant. my boobs (well more like my chest) is finally starting to get sore, that's normally the case a couple days earlier than this, so i'm hoping the delay in that happening is due to pregnancy. but again, no testing for me yet. I've got another week ahead of me...
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
finally, a plan!
finally, after many months of being up in the air with TTC because of the house, we have a plan to move forward : )
dh has noticed my efforts lately and i didn't tell him this cycle when i was fertile (we only managed to BD O-3...) which he prefered and felt way less stressed about (though i was pretty frustrated because its our last cycle that will allow us to go home for xmas without taking a break). so now, if this cycle doesn't result in pregnancy (like i'm assuming), we'll just do what we did last summer and NTNP until the house is done (which i've already written about) and then maybe put in some effort when we're more relaxed and enjoying the house and summer. at the end of summer, we'll finally pursue testing. he's very much not wanting to do an SA, but really, its one of the easiest things to do testing wise since its non-invasive and no needles needed. i would much rather know if there is an issue so we can stop trying to make it happen naturally if that's just not even a possibility. why waste time, you know? so thank god, we finally have a plan if nothing happens over the next 5-6 months.
i really hate that the house has put the brakes on all of this, i kind of resent in fact. i know it was better to do it now when we don't have kids to slow down the progress because of needing to care for them, but fuck, did we really need the house to prolong TTC an extra year? if it weren't for the damn house, we probably wouldn't still be in this clueless phase (in regards to not knowing if there are potential issues) and at least have answers if we weren't pregnant yet and on our way to making it happen for real.
the last couple days have been a little hard on me because of the lack of plan in place to deal with this. now that we have a plan, i am breathing a bit of a sigh of relief. its not a full sigh since i have a 5-6 month waiting period to see if either we magically have it happen while NTNP before going ahead iwth testing, but at this point, i'm just thankful there's a bit of an end in sight til we have an actual schedule of what will happen when instead of being up in the air about it all. i just need some damn structure back in my life!
dh has noticed my efforts lately and i didn't tell him this cycle when i was fertile (we only managed to BD O-3...) which he prefered and felt way less stressed about (though i was pretty frustrated because its our last cycle that will allow us to go home for xmas without taking a break). so now, if this cycle doesn't result in pregnancy (like i'm assuming), we'll just do what we did last summer and NTNP until the house is done (which i've already written about) and then maybe put in some effort when we're more relaxed and enjoying the house and summer. at the end of summer, we'll finally pursue testing. he's very much not wanting to do an SA, but really, its one of the easiest things to do testing wise since its non-invasive and no needles needed. i would much rather know if there is an issue so we can stop trying to make it happen naturally if that's just not even a possibility. why waste time, you know? so thank god, we finally have a plan if nothing happens over the next 5-6 months.
i really hate that the house has put the brakes on all of this, i kind of resent in fact. i know it was better to do it now when we don't have kids to slow down the progress because of needing to care for them, but fuck, did we really need the house to prolong TTC an extra year? if it weren't for the damn house, we probably wouldn't still be in this clueless phase (in regards to not knowing if there are potential issues) and at least have answers if we weren't pregnant yet and on our way to making it happen for real.
the last couple days have been a little hard on me because of the lack of plan in place to deal with this. now that we have a plan, i am breathing a bit of a sigh of relief. its not a full sigh since i have a 5-6 month waiting period to see if either we magically have it happen while NTNP before going ahead iwth testing, but at this point, i'm just thankful there's a bit of an end in sight til we have an actual schedule of what will happen when instead of being up in the air about it all. i just need some damn structure back in my life!
Monday, March 11, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
and end in sight...
yikes!
good thing i took a quick look at the permit website (for the addition) because i figured permits would be good until you finish the project, as long as it was started within the year of being approved for one. taking a look at the website, its actually not the case. enter panic mode... :-/
you actually have to start work within 90 days of getting the permit and then must be completed within a year (less than 2 months from now!). OMG!!! i'm pretty sure we still have at least 3 months worth of work to finish (and that's if we start getting a move on and work on it every weekend) and our permit is only good until the end of april...
you can apply for a 3 month extension, but its at the discretion of the inspection company. holy worries batman! so i called them up and asked about it, and got an extension to get us to july 30th. do you know what that means? that means we'll be done and using the addition by then! i'm not sure if that stresses me out knowing we have a date we need to have our last inspection by with all the work we have left, or relieves me knowing there is an absolute end to this. i realized this week that we kind of need to have this done in the next 4 months or i won't have a place for my dad to sleep when they come out for my sisters wedding...
ugh, nothing like putting an expiration date that might be a bit of a stretch on something that's been dragging on lately :-(
good thing i took a quick look at the permit website (for the addition) because i figured permits would be good until you finish the project, as long as it was started within the year of being approved for one. taking a look at the website, its actually not the case. enter panic mode... :-/
you actually have to start work within 90 days of getting the permit and then must be completed within a year (less than 2 months from now!). OMG!!! i'm pretty sure we still have at least 3 months worth of work to finish (and that's if we start getting a move on and work on it every weekend) and our permit is only good until the end of april...
you can apply for a 3 month extension, but its at the discretion of the inspection company. holy worries batman! so i called them up and asked about it, and got an extension to get us to july 30th. do you know what that means? that means we'll be done and using the addition by then! i'm not sure if that stresses me out knowing we have a date we need to have our last inspection by with all the work we have left, or relieves me knowing there is an absolute end to this. i realized this week that we kind of need to have this done in the next 4 months or i won't have a place for my dad to sleep when they come out for my sisters wedding...
ugh, nothing like putting an expiration date that might be a bit of a stretch on something that's been dragging on lately :-(
Monday, February 25, 2013
last shot
(cycle 31, day 1)
yep, AF showed up. i was so optimistic this cycle and confident i'd get a BFP, that i think i jinxed myself. even a BFN on 10dpo didn't deter me or drag me down. i've never had this good of an attitude during my 2ww ever. not until last night when i had some AF cramping around 10pm. i was going to test this morning because i wasn't expecting AF til tomoro (though now that i think about it, i didn't take the baby aspirin during my 2ww, so i'm not surprised i had a 12 day LP since that's what it was before the baby aspirin). since the cramps weren't accompanied by spotting, i remainded hopeful, but not optimistic like i was. i had more cramping in the middle of the night that woke me up, hope = gone. when i got out of bed this morning, i was surprised to see that AF hadn't yet shown up. i was ready to test, i collected my pee, still no AF. went to wipe, and there she was. damn.
so i guess my plan is to attempt one more cycle before taking at least 2 months off so we don't miss out on going east next xmas. i'm hoping that if this last ditch effort to have a baby before xmas works, otherwise, towards the end or just after our break, we'll start fertility testing. something i was hoping to avoid, but is starting to feel like i'm not going to be that lucky :-/
yep, AF showed up. i was so optimistic this cycle and confident i'd get a BFP, that i think i jinxed myself. even a BFN on 10dpo didn't deter me or drag me down. i've never had this good of an attitude during my 2ww ever. not until last night when i had some AF cramping around 10pm. i was going to test this morning because i wasn't expecting AF til tomoro (though now that i think about it, i didn't take the baby aspirin during my 2ww, so i'm not surprised i had a 12 day LP since that's what it was before the baby aspirin). since the cramps weren't accompanied by spotting, i remainded hopeful, but not optimistic like i was. i had more cramping in the middle of the night that woke me up, hope = gone. when i got out of bed this morning, i was surprised to see that AF hadn't yet shown up. i was ready to test, i collected my pee, still no AF. went to wipe, and there she was. damn.
so i guess my plan is to attempt one more cycle before taking at least 2 months off so we don't miss out on going east next xmas. i'm hoping that if this last ditch effort to have a baby before xmas works, otherwise, towards the end or just after our break, we'll start fertility testing. something i was hoping to avoid, but is starting to feel like i'm not going to be that lucky :-/
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
slow
(cycle 30, day 24, 8 dpo)
unfortunately i wasn't able to keep up with being oblivious to what day i'm on. but i'm trying to keep telling myself that any symptoms i may have don't really mean anything since i have them every cycle and AF shows up every cycle. so far, i think that's working. i don't have an urge to test like i do every cycle we have a shot, so that's good.
i'm trying my best to avoid testing until at least next tuesday as long as there isn't any spotting and AF hasn't shown up. i'm waiting until at least 12dpo to test because that's usually when any symptoms i may have had, start to disappear. i was pretty symptom-less last year when i got a BFP other than an obvious cramp around 6dpo, and i think i had those same cramps around the same time this time, but i'm sticking with not assuming anything so i don't get my hopes up.
i know i haven't been posting much about anything else lately, but DH always has a hard with winter around this time every year so he's not feeling motivated to do much (i can't really blame him. this project has been dragging on quite a while, and even i'm not motivated to get it done. though i know we just have to get to the point of hanging drywall and it will breathe new life into us). he did build the framing for the tub this past weekend so that our plumber can finally come in and run the sewer lines, so that's some progress, even if it is small. i was really hoping to be doing drywall like a month ago, but as long as we're at that point by easter, i'll be happy. i definately want to be done this by summer because we want to enjoy summer this year instead of working through it like last summer. be able to sit outside on our deck, eat dinner, relax and play with HayHay. spend more time with family and swimming...
unfortunately i wasn't able to keep up with being oblivious to what day i'm on. but i'm trying to keep telling myself that any symptoms i may have don't really mean anything since i have them every cycle and AF shows up every cycle. so far, i think that's working. i don't have an urge to test like i do every cycle we have a shot, so that's good.
i'm trying my best to avoid testing until at least next tuesday as long as there isn't any spotting and AF hasn't shown up. i'm waiting until at least 12dpo to test because that's usually when any symptoms i may have had, start to disappear. i was pretty symptom-less last year when i got a BFP other than an obvious cramp around 6dpo, and i think i had those same cramps around the same time this time, but i'm sticking with not assuming anything so i don't get my hopes up.
i know i haven't been posting much about anything else lately, but DH always has a hard with winter around this time every year so he's not feeling motivated to do much (i can't really blame him. this project has been dragging on quite a while, and even i'm not motivated to get it done. though i know we just have to get to the point of hanging drywall and it will breathe new life into us). he did build the framing for the tub this past weekend so that our plumber can finally come in and run the sewer lines, so that's some progress, even if it is small. i was really hoping to be doing drywall like a month ago, but as long as we're at that point by easter, i'll be happy. i definately want to be done this by summer because we want to enjoy summer this year instead of working through it like last summer. be able to sit outside on our deck, eat dinner, relax and play with HayHay. spend more time with family and swimming...
Friday, February 15, 2013
ho hum
(cycle 30, day 18?, 3dpo?) - the question marks are because i'm not entirely sure and i dont' want to go look at my chart or count out the days because i'm trying really hard to just put it in the back of my mind so i don't obsess over it and then be sad when AF inevitably shows up...
anyway, same ol same ol. may have O'd a day later this cycle, but i'm not 100%. OPKs point to O on cd16 and CM/cramps point to O on cd15. i'll just expect her to show up on the same day as the last 5 months so i'm not taken off guard if she shows up a day early because i assumed O was on cd16, but also won't get upset if AF waits and shows up when she's supposed to if O was in fact on cd16. so i wait and see : ) we did get some good BDing in, so at least there's hope.
other than that, not much else to report on, the house is going very slowly right now, something i wish would pick up because i just want to get to drywall so i can feel like i'm helping. it will also cement the idea that we're actually going to finish it at some point this year, lol.
anyway, same ol same ol. may have O'd a day later this cycle, but i'm not 100%. OPKs point to O on cd16 and CM/cramps point to O on cd15. i'll just expect her to show up on the same day as the last 5 months so i'm not taken off guard if she shows up a day early because i assumed O was on cd16, but also won't get upset if AF waits and shows up when she's supposed to if O was in fact on cd16. so i wait and see : ) we did get some good BDing in, so at least there's hope.
other than that, not much else to report on, the house is going very slowly right now, something i wish would pick up because i just want to get to drywall so i can feel like i'm helping. it will also cement the idea that we're actually going to finish it at some point this year, lol.
Monday, February 4, 2013
spotting
(cycle 30, day 8)
i hate spotting, lol. i nomally stop by cd5 or 6 at the latest. i was still going strong on cd7. its just so annoying to deal with.
anway, starting my OPKs on friday and hoping DH is on board with trying this cycle and not too stressed to make a good go at it like last month. i'm really hoping it happens soon, like this month or next so that we don't have to actually take a break for a month or two to avoid having to put off going to ontario for xmas another year.
i'm also hoping we can really get moving on the addition because i feel like we're a month behind where i thought we'd be at this point (you know, after conceeding that we were fooling ourselves for orignally thinking we'd be done before xmas...). i was hoping we'd be at drywall by this point, but we're not. hopefully this weekend we put a massive dent in the vapour barrier dept and that our plumber doesn't take his sweet time and DH doesn't drag ass on running the water lines so we can actually get our vapour barrier and insulation inspection so we can actually move forward and do some drywalling. i could probably do a decent amount of work in the existing part of the house that needs work to keep things moving along, but i've had no motivation to and no time. hopefully that will change this weekend. i wanted to start working on it myself this passed weekend since DH was out of town, but things got away from me and i was too busy : ( ah well, it happens. but we really gotta buckle down on this... i'm tired of this dragging on and nothing getting done lately. it has to change, its not going to build itself.
i hate spotting, lol. i nomally stop by cd5 or 6 at the latest. i was still going strong on cd7. its just so annoying to deal with.
anway, starting my OPKs on friday and hoping DH is on board with trying this cycle and not too stressed to make a good go at it like last month. i'm really hoping it happens soon, like this month or next so that we don't have to actually take a break for a month or two to avoid having to put off going to ontario for xmas another year.
i'm also hoping we can really get moving on the addition because i feel like we're a month behind where i thought we'd be at this point (you know, after conceeding that we were fooling ourselves for orignally thinking we'd be done before xmas...). i was hoping we'd be at drywall by this point, but we're not. hopefully this weekend we put a massive dent in the vapour barrier dept and that our plumber doesn't take his sweet time and DH doesn't drag ass on running the water lines so we can actually get our vapour barrier and insulation inspection so we can actually move forward and do some drywalling. i could probably do a decent amount of work in the existing part of the house that needs work to keep things moving along, but i've had no motivation to and no time. hopefully that will change this weekend. i wanted to start working on it myself this passed weekend since DH was out of town, but things got away from me and i was too busy : ( ah well, it happens. but we really gotta buckle down on this... i'm tired of this dragging on and nothing getting done lately. it has to change, its not going to build itself.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
boudoir!
(cycle 30, day 3)
yep, you read that right, AF showed up, on time (well on time according to OPKs, CM and my intuition, not according to temps). of course i tested friday, saturday and sunday because i'm a POAS-aholic. heh. i'm remaining a little hopeful that technically it only took 6 cycles once we were actively TTC to finally get pregnant. its now been 7 cycles (i'm on #8) since the MC that we've actively TTC, albeit sporadically, so i'm still a little hopeful that all it will take is some consistent BDing every cycle and we should finally see a BFP. IDK if i'm being ridiculous in being that kind of hopeful, but we'll see i guess.
this past weekend i went out on a limb and did a boudoir shoot. it was something i was thinking of doing lately after losing that weight with WW, but i had been waiting because i didn't want to be pregnant and doing it since then i'd have a lovely bloat that wouldn't look nice in pics (you know, that uncomfortable stage of pregnancy where you know you're pregnant, but others would just think you had a few too many treats?) and i also didn't want to be too pregnant because i want to remember my body as it is now, pre-kids. something i can look back on after having kids to motivate myself to lose the extra padding and get back to the shape i'm in now, which is the best shape i've been in all my life. so i saw that this amazing photographer (here: http://www.nicoleashley.ca/ & here: https://www.facebook.com/#!/nicashleyphoto) had a couple openings for her next marathons so i kind of just jumped at the chance. what sold me is her style of photography, her team of stylists that do hair, makeup and pick out your "looks". it was so nice to feel pampered and then get gorgeous pics taken, i felt SEXY AS HELL! those ladies know what they're doing and they make you feel so comfortable. so far, all i've seen is a headshot preview, but it made me so excited to see the rest of them : ) i keep stalking the FB page hoping to see something of mine, but then i remember this was supposed to be a total surprise to DH and she knows that so some ladies don't want anything shared before giving them to their loved ones (myself included) so i have to keep reminding myself of that. i've been wanting to show him the pic since i got it because i love it so much, lol. its taking everything so save it for when i was intending for him to see them. i'm planning on showing them to him this coming cycle when i'm fertile to help give him a little motivation, so i'm just hoping i get the DVD in time for this since that will be a couple days before Vday... every woman seriously needs to do photos like this with an experienced photog. i gained so much self confidence in those 3 hours, if i had a never ending supply of money, i would do this all the time, haha. i won't be posting a pic until after DH sees them since i don't want anyone to inadvertently see them and he somehow see them (i have no idea how that would happen, but i'm not taking chances!). so for now, they're between my photog and me. i'll definately post a non-incriminating one once i get them : )
yep, you read that right, AF showed up, on time (well on time according to OPKs, CM and my intuition, not according to temps). of course i tested friday, saturday and sunday because i'm a POAS-aholic. heh. i'm remaining a little hopeful that technically it only took 6 cycles once we were actively TTC to finally get pregnant. its now been 7 cycles (i'm on #8) since the MC that we've actively TTC, albeit sporadically, so i'm still a little hopeful that all it will take is some consistent BDing every cycle and we should finally see a BFP. IDK if i'm being ridiculous in being that kind of hopeful, but we'll see i guess.
this past weekend i went out on a limb and did a boudoir shoot. it was something i was thinking of doing lately after losing that weight with WW, but i had been waiting because i didn't want to be pregnant and doing it since then i'd have a lovely bloat that wouldn't look nice in pics (you know, that uncomfortable stage of pregnancy where you know you're pregnant, but others would just think you had a few too many treats?) and i also didn't want to be too pregnant because i want to remember my body as it is now, pre-kids. something i can look back on after having kids to motivate myself to lose the extra padding and get back to the shape i'm in now, which is the best shape i've been in all my life. so i saw that this amazing photographer (here: http://www.nicoleashley.ca/ & here: https://www.facebook.com/#!/nicashleyphoto) had a couple openings for her next marathons so i kind of just jumped at the chance. what sold me is her style of photography, her team of stylists that do hair, makeup and pick out your "looks". it was so nice to feel pampered and then get gorgeous pics taken, i felt SEXY AS HELL! those ladies know what they're doing and they make you feel so comfortable. so far, all i've seen is a headshot preview, but it made me so excited to see the rest of them : ) i keep stalking the FB page hoping to see something of mine, but then i remember this was supposed to be a total surprise to DH and she knows that so some ladies don't want anything shared before giving them to their loved ones (myself included) so i have to keep reminding myself of that. i've been wanting to show him the pic since i got it because i love it so much, lol. its taking everything so save it for when i was intending for him to see them. i'm planning on showing them to him this coming cycle when i'm fertile to help give him a little motivation, so i'm just hoping i get the DVD in time for this since that will be a couple days before Vday... every woman seriously needs to do photos like this with an experienced photog. i gained so much self confidence in those 3 hours, if i had a never ending supply of money, i would do this all the time, haha. i won't be posting a pic until after DH sees them since i don't want anyone to inadvertently see them and he somehow see them (i have no idea how that would happen, but i'm not taking chances!). so for now, they're between my photog and me. i'll definately post a non-incriminating one once i get them : )
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