out the window

(cycle 42, day 25, 11 dpo)

my hope, as the title states, is out the window. I had some promising symptoms, well mostly sore boobs that hurt to lay on like back when I was pregnant last time, but it only lasted about 2 days and now they aren't even sore. I had a good temp dip at 8 dpo and my temp recovered back to where it was (usually if it dips, its not just one temp and it doesn't always recover) so I thought maybe that might have been an implantation dip (though I get very obvious cramps when that does happen as evidenced by both pregnancies). I ended up testing at 9 and 10 dpo and just got BFNs, not surprisingly. I thought I might've seen something on 9dpo's test, but its very clearly negative now whereas my other BFPs got darker the longer it developed.

I'm now 11dpo and my temp has started dropping like it does in the days before AF so I highly doubt this cycle worked and am expecting AF either Wednesday or Thursday. if she doesn't show, i'll be shocked. but I am kinda hoping she does so that I can make it to my BF's wedding... next cycle would be great though... come on universe, throw me a bone why don't you?!?!