once again, no hope left

(cycle 43, day 26, 12 dpo)

and there goes my hope. my temp was great, until yesterday. it was even labelled as possibly triphasic because my temp was higher for three days compared to the previous 2ww temps. and then it started dropping yesterday like it always does. I really need to learn to wait until 11dpo to do any kind of testing since I always seem to test at 10dpo when my temps are still good but then see a bfn and hope its just too early only to wake up to a low temp the next day and know the fate of the cycle.

that chart was damn near perfect. I was convinced I was pregnant, especially with such a low dip and pain incredibly similar to both others. how much longer do I have to wait? do I really need to go through all 12 cycles once again? that gives me until end of august  : (  I really really really really really (like seriously, really) don't want to go to MIL's wedding without a baby in my belly. I'd have to avoid his cousin like the freaking plague because that's all I would think about. its all I think about when I see a cousin in Calgary. babies that are the same age as what I should have. its torture and not fair.

we have this next cycle and then the next one will be when we're in a new bed in our bedroom. if next cycle doesn't work, I hope the change in scenery does the trick, and fast.