i think I might have an unhealthy obsession with pregos : ( maybe its because I'm trying to live vicariously since we're having such issues achieving it ourselves, but then I end up being upset with myself and in a bad for the rest of the day.
I swear, every week I'm finding out about someone else in peripheral group of friends that's pregnant and we fall even further behind. I can't even manage to like posts/comments/pics in social media because I'm dying on the inside. its not like you can read tone or know the context of when someone gives a congrats, but yet I still feel like if I can't be genuine when I like or comment, that I shouldn't do it all. and then I feel like a shitty person for not doing those things. I'm in a no win situation cuz I get to see all these women go on to have happy, healthy pregnancies and then bask in the glow of motherhood, while I sit on the sidelines for what seems like forever and live with the heartache my MCs have given me with little hope that i'll ever experience more than that.
I do it to myself, really. when I find out someone is pregnant, I check their profile quite often just to see pregnancy stuff and then cry in silence. I really need to stop doing that, but I don't know how I can break the cycle since it also gives me something to do and something to waste time on, but all it ever does is sadden me. why?
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