(cycle 6, day 8)
I should've known better than to have been caught up in thinking I was pregnant. I've just been so hopeful that if it was somewhat timed right, it would happen easily.
Damn my mother for giving me false hope because I'm a "Kennedy". Just because half my body are her genes, doesn't automatically mean I will be just as fertile as she was, or my grandmother was, or my great grandmothers were. Half my genes are from my dad. If she didn't get her tubes tied, she'd have a lot more kids right now like my great grandmothers (one had 8 and the other 15!). My grandpa had a vasectomy so they wouldn't have more kids. Basically, if they wanted one, the most it took was a month or two.
My dad's side, I don't really know if they were a fertile bunch or not. There was just the two of them for my memere.... One of my cousins took 8 months to get pregnant and she had a miscarriage at 5 months a few years before that sweet little boy.
I guess I shouldn't be hoping something will happen if we don't actually give it an honest try. If it did happen, I'd say I'm fertile Myrtle since it would've been a one shot deal, but it didn't. Of course I was bummed when AF showed up, not surprised, just bummed.
So with this new cycle, I've started using a basal thermometer in hopes that it reads my temps more clearly and they aren't as erratic so its clearer when I ovulate. I still have to wait til at least next weekend to find out if it does the job or not and then wait another 2 weeks on top of that to find out if we do the job right this cycle. At this point, I'm almost hoping it doesn't happen so that I don't have to deal with possible pregnancy symptoms on our vacation (morning sickness would just plain suck to have during that week) but I don't want to wait yet another month for it to happen. And if it did happen in the next cycle and not this one, I don't want a Christmas baby and it would be all to likely if we wait a month....
Ahhhh!!! This whole baby making business is just so frustrating :-(
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
MEXICO!!!
so we finally decided where to go for our vacation!
so we're going to the Catalonia Yucatan in the Maya Riviera! its in Playa Aventuras only 15 minutes from Playa del Carmen and 60 minutes from Cancun airport. there's so much we want to do and i think we will our days nicely between activity days and lazy days : ) we plan on at least one round of golf (yes, me, golf, lol. maybe we'll end up like my grandparents and spend our future retirement golfing, haha), ziplining, touring some ruins, possibly spend a day in Cozumel and a day in Playa del Carmen, and spend the rest of our time doing things at the resort. so looking forward to this!
it was so hard choosing from all the choices we got from the travel agent. it was pretty easy to narrow it down to Jamaica and Mexico, but we couldn't decide which one and which hotel at each to go with. they all looked so amazing.
we asked a few friends, unfortunately none of them have been to both, either one or the other so we never really got a good enough answer. most said to go to Jamaica, but something kept bringing us back to Mexico. we each did some research on things we can do and Jamaica just seemed like it was going to be a bit difficult to find things to do outside of the resort. let's face it, there really isn't much to do at the resorts that you wouldn't be bored after a few days and then spend the last few days grumpy cuz there's nothing to do, lol.
so our final decision was made and helped by a good friend that really recommended Mexico and the fact that we would spend less time at airports and in the air because Mexico is a direct flight and we would have to fly to Toronto first to go to Jamaica. i'd already been to the area about 4 years ago so i'm familiar with all there is to do (one of the reasons we were leaning towards Jamaica was because neither us had been there). after we decided where we were going, we just had to figure out which resort to stay at. that decision was made easier by looking at a google map of each and seeing how the resorts were laid out. one was quite a lot bigger than the other with more rooms, but if you ended up in the last building, it was quite a walk to get to the restaraunts and bars. the other was much more compact with 80% less rooms, which meant less walking at the resort.
so we're going to the Catalonia Yucatan in the Maya Riviera! its in Playa Aventuras only 15 minutes from Playa del Carmen and 60 minutes from Cancun airport. there's so much we want to do and i think we will our days nicely between activity days and lazy days : ) we plan on at least one round of golf (yes, me, golf, lol. maybe we'll end up like my grandparents and spend our future retirement golfing, haha), ziplining, touring some ruins, possibly spend a day in Cozumel and a day in Playa del Carmen, and spend the rest of our time doing things at the resort. so looking forward to this!
Maybe Baby?
(cycle 5, day 31)
fertility friend has no clue when i ovulated now. go figure. AF hasn't shown up yet so technically i'm late by my average cycle length. i'm just far too nervous and anxious to test even though i've wanted to for the last 2 days. if AF hasn't shown up by the time i wake up tomoro morning, i'm testing. i can't take the wait anymore, haha. the 2WW is excrutiating!
and since i'm in the 2WW, i'm trying desperately not to read too much into any possible symptoms i might be feeling. like the frequent urination (but could be because of the extra water i'm drinking), headaches (could be the weather or stress), backaches, starving by 9:30 after i eat a bowl of cereal at 7....
guess we'll find out tomoro.... this is going to be the longest 15 hours ever!
UPDATE: so this mornings test was a BFN and i spotted all morning, like nothing on a pad and only when i wipe. but its not really blood, its like blood streaked CM. so i don't know if that's AF just taking her time, but it has kinda teetered off this afternoon so maybe it was implantation bleeding??? i just read a bunch of stuff online and it could happen this late (12dpo). a lot of it said that it would occur before your luteal phase (the time between ovulation and your period) but that's if your luteal phase isn't 12 days like mine. so if that's the case, it very well could be implantation of a fetus.... gah, i hate hormones, my cycle, the internet and all it's info at my fingertips, the 2ww, spotting, uncertainty and BFN's.
fertility friend has no clue when i ovulated now. go figure. AF hasn't shown up yet so technically i'm late by my average cycle length. i'm just far too nervous and anxious to test even though i've wanted to for the last 2 days. if AF hasn't shown up by the time i wake up tomoro morning, i'm testing. i can't take the wait anymore, haha. the 2WW is excrutiating!
and since i'm in the 2WW, i'm trying desperately not to read too much into any possible symptoms i might be feeling. like the frequent urination (but could be because of the extra water i'm drinking), headaches (could be the weather or stress), backaches, starving by 9:30 after i eat a bowl of cereal at 7....
guess we'll find out tomoro.... this is going to be the longest 15 hours ever!
UPDATE: so this mornings test was a BFN and i spotted all morning, like nothing on a pad and only when i wipe. but its not really blood, its like blood streaked CM. so i don't know if that's AF just taking her time, but it has kinda teetered off this afternoon so maybe it was implantation bleeding??? i just read a bunch of stuff online and it could happen this late (12dpo). a lot of it said that it would occur before your luteal phase (the time between ovulation and your period) but that's if your luteal phase isn't 12 days like mine. so if that's the case, it very well could be implantation of a fetus.... gah, i hate hormones, my cycle, the internet and all it's info at my fingertips, the 2ww, spotting, uncertainty and BFN's.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
BOTB (baby on the brain)
(cycle 5, day 25)
so apparently i ovulated on cycle day 11. i dont see how that makes any sense as that would mean that i am now late, but my temps are all kinds of crazy this month. it does follow a pattern throughout the week though. but i'm pretty sure i ovulated around cd 17 or 18 so next week i would be late.
with that being said, i'm also not taking any kind of symptoms i may or may not have (they might just be in my head or coincidental) to heart and gonna start thinking i'm pregnant. i did that once already and had myself convinced and had it turn out to be nothing but a typical cycle. i didnt have the cramps that i did that month, but i'm still not going to compare once cycle to the next. so next week, on valentine's day, i'm going to test if i haven't gotten aunt flo yet. here's hoping!
so apparently i ovulated on cycle day 11. i dont see how that makes any sense as that would mean that i am now late, but my temps are all kinds of crazy this month. it does follow a pattern throughout the week though. but i'm pretty sure i ovulated around cd 17 or 18 so next week i would be late.
with that being said, i'm also not taking any kind of symptoms i may or may not have (they might just be in my head or coincidental) to heart and gonna start thinking i'm pregnant. i did that once already and had myself convinced and had it turn out to be nothing but a typical cycle. i didnt have the cramps that i did that month, but i'm still not going to compare once cycle to the next. so next week, on valentine's day, i'm going to test if i haven't gotten aunt flo yet. here's hoping!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
What A Busy Week!
(cycle 5, day 18)
apparently winning the lottery makes you very busy, lol.
first thing monday morning sean ordered our new vehicles. i was a little surprised he moved on it that quick, but he was doing it for a sale that was ending that same day. see, winning the lottery hasn't changed the way we think about money, haha. So mine was in by the afternoon and his was in the next afternoon. i was pretty excited about it and kept hoping to take it home. not that i dont love my car because i do, i've been driving the terrain today, and i miss the stick shift already : (
monday night we got to go see sean's sister and the baby (see pic in previous post). gah, i cant believe she's finally here. now if only we had one, lol. we had a good visit. sean was a little scared to pick her up since she's so tiny, but he's getting used to it. when we saw them on tuesday, we was getting better at moving her around without being afraid of breaking her. now if i can just get him to change a diaper....
tuesday we took the day off since we didnt know how long any of what we needed to do would take us. we had an interview with ALGC for our winnings and for them to confirm details so that it was ours free and clear. we had leave without a cheque since they had to send all the information to winnipeg and they were too busy to get it done before we left the city for home. we stopped in to visit sean's old shop and his sister again since she was still in the hospital. he just has a smile plastered on his face when he sees his little neice. i love the look on his face when he looks at her <3 when we got back to town, we went to the bank to get new accounts set up for the money so that we can change the way we pay bills and split our money. im glad we're finally doing that since it's the way i wanted to do it but would've taken me years to get sean to agree to it, lol. we spent the rest of the afternoon doing little things and visiting with friends at the shop, he was even lucky enough to take his new truck home for the night.
hopefully life starts calming down a bit now that we have the big things figured out...
apparently winning the lottery makes you very busy, lol.
first thing monday morning sean ordered our new vehicles. i was a little surprised he moved on it that quick, but he was doing it for a sale that was ending that same day. see, winning the lottery hasn't changed the way we think about money, haha. So mine was in by the afternoon and his was in the next afternoon. i was pretty excited about it and kept hoping to take it home. not that i dont love my car because i do, i've been driving the terrain today, and i miss the stick shift already : (
monday night we got to go see sean's sister and the baby (see pic in previous post). gah, i cant believe she's finally here. now if only we had one, lol. we had a good visit. sean was a little scared to pick her up since she's so tiny, but he's getting used to it. when we saw them on tuesday, we was getting better at moving her around without being afraid of breaking her. now if i can just get him to change a diaper....
tuesday we took the day off since we didnt know how long any of what we needed to do would take us. we had an interview with ALGC for our winnings and for them to confirm details so that it was ours free and clear. we had leave without a cheque since they had to send all the information to winnipeg and they were too busy to get it done before we left the city for home. we stopped in to visit sean's old shop and his sister again since she was still in the hospital. he just has a smile plastered on his face when he sees his little neice. i love the look on his face when he looks at her <3 when we got back to town, we went to the bank to get new accounts set up for the money so that we can change the way we pay bills and split our money. im glad we're finally doing that since it's the way i wanted to do it but would've taken me years to get sean to agree to it, lol. we spent the rest of the afternoon doing little things and visiting with friends at the shop, he was even lucky enough to take his new truck home for the night.
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| Terrain SLT |
today, we found out the paper had printed our story without calling us to confirm details or ask permission to print our names. i was a little pissed, mostly just for the fact that no one called us and we ended up in the paper with wrong information. they said we had won $3.8million when we wont about $3.4million less than that. that damn paper has a hard time with spelling and grammar all the time, i'm not really surprised they got the amount wrong, it just bothers me that no one called first. we also got to take our new vehicles home. of course that was a ton of work too. we had to sign papers, then get pink slips at the insurance office. then go back and get the run down on them and finally go home in our new vehicles. so far i like mine, its a lot bigger that my little pursuit but there's so many things it does that my little car didn't. it will be a hell of a lot more convenient for kids than my 2-door coupe.
tomoro will be a huge day, not as busy, just big. WE GET THE CHEQUE TOMORO!!! so sean's getting the cheque at work and then i'll meet him at the bank to deposit it. shouldnt take too long. after work, we also have a preliminary meeting for investments and to figure out what we should do where the mortgage is concerned. just a lot to figure out with all this money.
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