I've Stalled Out

(cycle 14, day 7)

its taking me a lot longer to finish my couch to 5k program, but i'm okay with that. i have to admit i was skeptical of being able to jog 20 minutes straight after just 5 weeks. i stalled out at week 5 day 1... i tried day 2, but jogging for 8 minutes nearly killed me! lol. i did it, but i felt like my legs were turning to jelly and were going to give out at any second and i was breathing like i was fighting for air. needless to say i haven't attempted that one again and probably won't for a while. for now i'm just working on jogging faster (i did my personal best last night at 6.4km/hr, i was pretty stoked!) and when i feel like 5 minutes is no longer a struggle or effort, i'll continue onto day 2 again. i don't think it will be too much longer, but the weather may stop me before i get to it. i bought myself a good running jacket for cooler weather, but i'm not sure how much colder i can handle : / so far i'm comfortable around the zero degree mark but when i walked outside this morning on my way to work, i was a little shocked by the -7 temp, haha. i'll have to try out more of the features on the new coat to see how much colder i can go before i have to give up jogging until the spring... or i'll have to take advantage of my moms treadmill for the winter...

On The Up Side....

i fit into an old pair of jeans from over 6 months ago!



what? i was proud of my accomplishment ;)

on down down side, AF showed up yesterday so i'm now on cycle 14 of TTC  :'(  ....

i'm trying to stay positive though so i'm jumping right back in. i also booked a physical with my doc for the middle of the next cycle so if this is our lucky month, i'll change it to a prenatal appointment and i'll be 5-6 weeks along, or i'll be able to talk to her about our options, and hope she doesn't dismiss me completely because of our lack of BDing....

other positives about not being pregnant yet:

• i can drink when we go Vegas in 2 weeks
• i can continue to lose weight and possibly make my first goal of losing 10%, and in turn be at an even healthier started weight for pregnancy
• i'll have better stamina for jogging/running because i can continue to do it and it will be a lot easier to continue while pregnant
• my tummy should still be able to fit in my winter coat instead of having to make due or buy a new one before the end of winter if i do get pregnant soon
• the due date for the next 2 cycles don't fall in the middle of a busy time with lots of family birthdays and holidays (like may-mid july or september-thanksgiving)

but all those positives don't help the fact that i'm completely bummed that i don't have a baby in my arms let alone my tummy yet. its hard doing this month in and month out when you want something so badly.... guess i'll just enjoy wearing old jeans for now  ; )

10 pounds!

(cycle 13, day 25, 9dpo)

so far weight watchers is totally working for me. although i must admit that today was a little hard to stick to my points... i just wanted to eat massive amounts of candy! i'm guessing that urge has to do with the point i'm in in my cycle, so i'm hoping it goes away and i can be happy continuing avoiding all that candy and junkfood like i have been for the last 6 weeks. i've lost 10.2lbs in the 6 weeks i've been on the plan but i haven't been doing any activity until the last 2 weeks so i'm sure i should start losing more in the coming weeks  : ) with those 10lbs, i've also lost an entire pant size! that feels amazing. i've shrunk out of a pair of jeans that i just bought 4 months ago because i was running out jeans that fit. now they're super baggy and unflattering. i'm also fitting back into some shorts that i couldn't wear over the summer which feels even better. at my weigh in on wednesday, i was even able to do up my belt an extra notch, yay!

i'm also back to my "couch to 5k" program since i took a hiatus for new brunswick and then the bathroom reno. i jumped right back into week 3 when i picked it up again! it was nice to know that i didn't have to start from the beginning again. i've now started week 5 and it was a lot easier than i thought it would be which is nice. i'm hoping to be at week 8 by november, but i'm not sure how the weather will affect that. i've also decided that i'm going to find a good zumba dvd or nintendo game and do that over the winter so i have a good variety of workout dvd's/games to choose from.


on my other quest, pregnancy, i'm still not sure how i feel about this cycle. one minute i'm convinced we failed and fully expect AF to show up on tuesday/wednesday like she should, but then the other minute all i want to do is test early because i'm convinced it's going to be positive. i'm at a crossroads. confused and really not sure what to think and what to do. i'm trying desperately to hold out until at least sunday to test, but depending on tomoro, i don't know if i'll have the willpower. i guess we shall see.......

Finished Bathroom Pics!

(cycle 13, day 22, 6 dpo)

just thought i'd post an update since i don't post as often anymore.

our bathroom is finally finished! i love it! granted we argued a lot in the process, but thank god we're done. we spend a lot of time on it, almost 3 extra weeks, but the results are awesome : )

after that experience, i think one of us has to take a back seat when we get to building our addition in the spring. that person will probably be me since i would rather hire a contractor to help with scheduling everything and getting things done that we can't do ourselves, but dh would rather do it himself (even though i'm pretty sure its just going to end up like the bathroom: the bane of his existence until its done). so all i plan on doing is the plans and painting. otherwise, i'm hands off, completely. and hopefully i'll have other things to focus my time on like planning for a baby. i'd even consider living at my moms or grandparents while the house is under construction so i'm not in the way and if i'm not involved, we can't argue about anything. i think our marriage needs that.

in other updates, i'm still feeling meh about our chances of conceiving this month. i know we timed it right, but we've done that for 2 months and so far nothing has come from it. i have discovered that my temps start dipping at 11dpo so from now on, i'm not testing until that point after i take my temp and look at my chart. if its down, no testing until i'm late and if it's up, i'll test early. it seemed to be consistent the last 3 cycles but my luck it will throw me for a loop and i won't be able to count on it : /

meh

(cycle 13, day 15)

i'm not overly optimistic, but i feel like i have to be. i'll be surprised if we end up with good chances this month of getting pregnant. i got what i think is a positive OPK today which historically means i'm going to O tomoro. i'm not ready to O yet to be honest. i was kind of hoping i wouldn't until cd18 but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. i'm going to have to get creative if i'm going to get dh in the sack to bd at least once more before i infact O (something i haven't been overly successful at).

everyone around seems like their pregnant right now. ppl close to me aren't, but in my virtual world of the internet, practically everyone is. the one really hurt hearing about is my 15 year old cousin. it wasn't expected and she didn't find out until she was at least 4 months along. i'm a little surprised that she ended up pregnant because of her upbringing, i would think that would be the last thing she would want, but she's happy, so i'm happy for her. i'd be lying though if i didn't say the thought of adopting her baby hadn't crossed my mind, as wrong as it is to even think about that : (

so hopefully we can get it done this month. i just want to be onto the next phase of preparing for the baby that's growing iside me. i want to plan the nursery and buy things here and there that our baby will use. i've avoided doing any of that or even any kind of window shopping so i don't get my hopes up and stare at un-used baby items forever. i want it be my turn. please?

if this doesn't happen to be our month, i am actually going to call my doc to see if there is anything we/i can do to help this along. i'll probably beg dh to come with me so we can both talk to her (even though i'm sure he won't because he won't talk to anyone about any of this).... i'm incredibly frustrated with all of this.