can i just say i love weight watchers? or at least so far anyway. i might not like it so much when my weight stalls out and i stop losing on dieting alone. but for now, i'm liking it and i'm liking the system. i'm not feeling like i'm depriving myself of treats or other foods i would love to eat. i'm also getting better with self-control, not great, but getting better. i still have some of the foods i shouldn't and when we go out, i'm still eating most of what's on my plate instead of only eating an actual portion or only eating enough to sustain myself and not stuff myself, so i have to work on that. i also have to start getting more activity into my routine. it doesn't help that we've been in reno mode for the last 3 weeks, but it will definately be dying down in the next few days where i might actually be able to get a walk in some nights. i think i'm going to try to find a zumba dvd and maybe i'll start trying to do that in the morning since it will be more fun that any of the other workout dvds that i have. i'll at least give it a try.
but so far, i've lost 7lbs! 5% of my starting weight! i've very happy about that since i did it in 4 weeks and didn't do much in the way of 'working out'. the last week my loss wasn't much, but a loss none the less. i'm sure if i start being active, it will come off easier and i would think i would be able to lose another 7lbs (10% of my starting weight) by Halloween and be down to 145lbs. a weight i haven't been since before mexico. more of my clothes should fit me which would be nice since in the last 6 months i've outgrown (more like outweighed) all of my shorts/skirts for summer and had to buy 2 new ones just to try to last through this season. it sure didn't help my confidence when that happened. i also grew out of some of my favorite pants so i'm really hoping that i'll be back in them for the winter and the only reason i'd have to buy new ones would be to fit a growing baby belly (that i will hopefully get soon).
ideally i would love to be back down to 120 but realistically i want to be 130 like last year for our wedding, but i'm really hoping i get pregnant before that. but the longer it takes to get pregnant, the healthier i'll be and i'll be at a healthier starting weight for pregnancy. kind of a catch 22. as much as i would love to be pregnant, i would also love to lose all the weight i've put on.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
its getting too frustrating
(cycle 13, day 1)
can i be totally honest and say that i'm VERY close to giving up TTC? this past cycle i basically just went through the motions without even getting upset about any part of it. heck, i nearly forgot to even use my OPKs this month (which i'm pretty sure is the reason i didn't get a distinct + on them because i tested 5 hours later than i did the day i got a + the first month i used them). i was diligent about taking my temps, but i never obsessed over them or my chart, so that is definately not the stressful part of TTC. for me, the most stressful part is BD timing. we rarely get it right. 4/12 months we had low chances, 6/12 the chances were non-existant and 2/12 (the last 2) we had 'good' chances, which are also the months i've used OPKs.
i think the stress of getting the bathroom reno done played a part this cycle. its the reason i nearly forgot to use the OPKs, too busy working and not thinking about testing until much later in the day. i'm hoping that since we should hopefully have the bathroom done this week that we can go back to being less stressed and maybe, just maybe, next cycle we'll get it right...
i have high hopes, but at the same time, i don't have hope. one good thing about it taking so long to happen is that its less likely that i'll be giving birth right in the middle of our anticipated addition so our lives won't be more chaotic than it already will be. but on the other hand, i'm not getting any younger and my yearning for a child is getting worse and it breaks my heart even more when i think about us still being childless after a year off the pill. its getting to where our kids will be so much younger than anyone elses, they'll have no one to play with when we do eventually have our own.
why can't i have the one thing i want most? why does this have to be so damned hard to make happen? why do some girls get it easy and not others? why can't it just be a one-man operation?
i'm so lost.... and angry.... and sad at our misfortune.... i don't know if i'll be able to go another month after this one.... i think i'll be done putting in effort after this cycle.... i'm done trying....
ITS. JUST. TOO. HARD.
can i be totally honest and say that i'm VERY close to giving up TTC? this past cycle i basically just went through the motions without even getting upset about any part of it. heck, i nearly forgot to even use my OPKs this month (which i'm pretty sure is the reason i didn't get a distinct + on them because i tested 5 hours later than i did the day i got a + the first month i used them). i was diligent about taking my temps, but i never obsessed over them or my chart, so that is definately not the stressful part of TTC. for me, the most stressful part is BD timing. we rarely get it right. 4/12 months we had low chances, 6/12 the chances were non-existant and 2/12 (the last 2) we had 'good' chances, which are also the months i've used OPKs.
i think the stress of getting the bathroom reno done played a part this cycle. its the reason i nearly forgot to use the OPKs, too busy working and not thinking about testing until much later in the day. i'm hoping that since we should hopefully have the bathroom done this week that we can go back to being less stressed and maybe, just maybe, next cycle we'll get it right...
i have high hopes, but at the same time, i don't have hope. one good thing about it taking so long to happen is that its less likely that i'll be giving birth right in the middle of our anticipated addition so our lives won't be more chaotic than it already will be. but on the other hand, i'm not getting any younger and my yearning for a child is getting worse and it breaks my heart even more when i think about us still being childless after a year off the pill. its getting to where our kids will be so much younger than anyone elses, they'll have no one to play with when we do eventually have our own.
why can't i have the one thing i want most? why does this have to be so damned hard to make happen? why do some girls get it easy and not others? why can't it just be a one-man operation?
i'm so lost.... and angry.... and sad at our misfortune.... i don't know if i'll be able to go another month after this one.... i think i'll be done putting in effort after this cycle.... i'm done trying....
ITS. JUST. TOO. HARD.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
I'm Back!
(cycle 12, day 26, 9 dpo)
not that i went anywhere the last 2 weeks, but i've been incredibly busy and my computer shit the bed last week so i haven't had internet on it for a week. but i'm back at it now : )
weight watchers is going really well. its a lot easier than i thought it would be to follow the system. i'm not depriving myself of treats, but i'm definately thinking twice before eating something i shouldn't be eating, lol. so far i've lost 5.6lbs and it feels great! i'm sure the last week could've been better if i didn't have 3 pieces of pizza on friday and high sodium soups at the beginning of this week, but i'm still happy with my progress and i think i'll be trying to stick to this for a long time to come. i will have to change it when i get pregnant since you can't be a member for that time period, but i'll still follow the guidelines like eating more fruit/veggies and drinking lots of water. however, i do think it will be easier to lose the baby weight afterwards.
dh has quit smoking for an entire week! i'm so proud of him. unfortunately we've gotten into quite a few arguments and tense moments while working on the bathroom, so his angry outbursts aren't necessarily because of the meds he's on since when he's doing home repairs and things don't go the way he wants, those outbursts happen anyway. outside of anything to do with that room, he's pleasant to be around. which is a nice change compared to the last time he quit...
the bathroom is going well, well really slowly. i was hoping to be done already, but no such luck. doesn't help that we haven't had a tub surround to put up (which is now 10 days late from the date of expected delivery) so we've been able to work slowly since pretty much everything in that room takes 3 times longer than we anticipated. i'm finally going to be able to paint tonight after hoping i would've been painting last week before we even started the bathroom. painting should be done on saturday afternoon and we can FINALLY put everything back together that night or sunday morning. i'll be so happy to shower at home again!
on the baby front, this month has been less stressful since my mind has been busy elsewhere (the bathroom). we didn't BD much this month (only twice while i was fertile) so i don't have high hopes of this being our month. i haven't been obsessing over my chart or doing any symptom hunting which is a nice change of pace. however, as i get closer to the day i expect AF to show up, i've been getting more analytical about my temps. this morning i had a temp drop. i typically don't have temp drops at 9dpo... leaves me wondering if its actually an implantation dip... to be honest, i was a little bummed when i didn't see a drop at 7 or 8 dpo, but in the back of my head, i know that it can happen anywhere between 7-10 dpo and today falls in that range. i can only hope my temps go up from today and i get a BFP on sunday (the awesome group of girls i met on MH have formed their own group because of some privacy issues with FB. there's a group of us, like 5+ girls, that are at the same point in our 2ww so we're all testing on sunday) when i'll be 12dpo. i would think if i get a BFN that this cycle was a bust and i will fully expect AF to show up on monday. obviously i'm hoping for a BFP, but i already said i don't have much hope this month.
not that i went anywhere the last 2 weeks, but i've been incredibly busy and my computer shit the bed last week so i haven't had internet on it for a week. but i'm back at it now : )
weight watchers is going really well. its a lot easier than i thought it would be to follow the system. i'm not depriving myself of treats, but i'm definately thinking twice before eating something i shouldn't be eating, lol. so far i've lost 5.6lbs and it feels great! i'm sure the last week could've been better if i didn't have 3 pieces of pizza on friday and high sodium soups at the beginning of this week, but i'm still happy with my progress and i think i'll be trying to stick to this for a long time to come. i will have to change it when i get pregnant since you can't be a member for that time period, but i'll still follow the guidelines like eating more fruit/veggies and drinking lots of water. however, i do think it will be easier to lose the baby weight afterwards.
dh has quit smoking for an entire week! i'm so proud of him. unfortunately we've gotten into quite a few arguments and tense moments while working on the bathroom, so his angry outbursts aren't necessarily because of the meds he's on since when he's doing home repairs and things don't go the way he wants, those outbursts happen anyway. outside of anything to do with that room, he's pleasant to be around. which is a nice change compared to the last time he quit...
the bathroom is going well, well really slowly. i was hoping to be done already, but no such luck. doesn't help that we haven't had a tub surround to put up (which is now 10 days late from the date of expected delivery) so we've been able to work slowly since pretty much everything in that room takes 3 times longer than we anticipated. i'm finally going to be able to paint tonight after hoping i would've been painting last week before we even started the bathroom. painting should be done on saturday afternoon and we can FINALLY put everything back together that night or sunday morning. i'll be so happy to shower at home again!
on the baby front, this month has been less stressful since my mind has been busy elsewhere (the bathroom). we didn't BD much this month (only twice while i was fertile) so i don't have high hopes of this being our month. i haven't been obsessing over my chart or doing any symptom hunting which is a nice change of pace. however, as i get closer to the day i expect AF to show up, i've been getting more analytical about my temps. this morning i had a temp drop. i typically don't have temp drops at 9dpo... leaves me wondering if its actually an implantation dip... to be honest, i was a little bummed when i didn't see a drop at 7 or 8 dpo, but in the back of my head, i know that it can happen anywhere between 7-10 dpo and today falls in that range. i can only hope my temps go up from today and i get a BFP on sunday (the awesome group of girls i met on MH have formed their own group because of some privacy issues with FB. there's a group of us, like 5+ girls, that are at the same point in our 2ww so we're all testing on sunday) when i'll be 12dpo. i would think if i get a BFN that this cycle was a bust and i will fully expect AF to show up on monday. obviously i'm hoping for a BFP, but i already said i don't have much hope this month.
Friday, September 2, 2011
changes
(cycle 12, day 13)
things are changing around our household! dh set his 'quit smoking' date for next thursday (the day after his 30th bday), i joined weight watchers and our upstairs bathroom is getting a major overhaul.
hubby's quit smoking campaign
i'm so proud that he's finally decided to kick the habit after two previous unsuccessful attempts since we've been together. what really pushed him to quit was knowing his dad had quit a month prior to the family reunion. dh is usually the only smoker: he was the only one at the reunion, he's the only one on the fire dept, one of two that smoke at his shop, possibly the only one out of the guys he plays hockey with... it just makes sense for him to quit. plus it will save him quite a bit of money each month (which he will now be putting away so he can buy this motorcycle that he really wants, lol).
he's already seen the doc to get the same prescription his dad took and i'm making sure he eats like he's supposed to when taking it and i have to watch out for any side effects he might experience. so now he's started the meds and will be quitting in his second week (as recommended) and will continue them until he's confident enough to go without them.
again, i'm extremely proud that he's finally taken this step and maybe this is what we need to finally get pregnant!
my joining weight watchers
i finally decided to do something about the extra weight i've put on since our wedding last year. 'newlywed nine' my ass! in the past year, i've gained 30lbs. that's 5lbs per month! no wonder none of my shorts from last year didn't fit me this summer : ( i've been surviving the hotter days in 2 pairs of shorts and sundresses. its really depressing to think i've gained that much.
so a friend encouraged me to join and i finally did this past week. it's a little difficult getting used to counting points for everything i eat and making sure i eat what i should be eating and not just all the junk i want to eat. i've signed up for the minimum that i need to sign up for at first, but unfortunately there's a disclaimer that pregnant women can't participate and you're ineligible for weight watchers in that circumstance. its a little saddening, but i understand it. though i still plan to follow it when the time comes, but make sure i'm eating enough to sustain a pregnancy, but follow the basics and the foods i should be eating, not the junk i love to eat.
my ultimate goal would be to lose 40lbs, but for now my goal would be to lose 20 just so i can at least fit into more of my clothes again. they recommend you start with working to lose 5% of your current weight first (for me that's 7lbs) and then work on 10% (15lbs for me). i'm not sure how close i'll get to either of those, but anything lost is good for me pre-pregnancy. if it takes longer for me to get pregnant, that just means i can lose more so i'm at a healthier starting weight when it happens and i'll have less to lose post-pregnancy to reach my ultimate goal (which i will be rejoining post-pregnancy because i don't think i could do it on my own without someone/thing keeping me accountable).
bathroom overhaul
we're finally getting around to renovating our main bathroom. it's going to be a long week in construction mode on a room we use so often, but it will all be worth it when its done.
we're doing:
- new drywall
- tile floor
- new vanity and countertop
- new tub suround
- paint
- new quieter fan
- new mirror
we've already bought all of our supplies so that we don't have to waste time going to the store 10 times each day, its all sitting in our spare room. tonight we're starting with the demo and fixing up the electrical and plumbing. tomoro will be drywalling and first coat of mud, possibly lay the membrane for the tiles. each day after will be a coat of mud until i can paint, then it will be a coat of paint each day til its done. the tiles will hopefully go in on sunday so that they can be grouted and sealed on monday/tuesday. i'm hoping the tub surround can go in on tuesday so we can stop borrowing showers from our neighbours, lol. so by next thursday/friday we'll have a new finished bathroom that hopefully looks amazing!
things are changing around our household! dh set his 'quit smoking' date for next thursday (the day after his 30th bday), i joined weight watchers and our upstairs bathroom is getting a major overhaul.
hubby's quit smoking campaign
i'm so proud that he's finally decided to kick the habit after two previous unsuccessful attempts since we've been together. what really pushed him to quit was knowing his dad had quit a month prior to the family reunion. dh is usually the only smoker: he was the only one at the reunion, he's the only one on the fire dept, one of two that smoke at his shop, possibly the only one out of the guys he plays hockey with... it just makes sense for him to quit. plus it will save him quite a bit of money each month (which he will now be putting away so he can buy this motorcycle that he really wants, lol).
he's already seen the doc to get the same prescription his dad took and i'm making sure he eats like he's supposed to when taking it and i have to watch out for any side effects he might experience. so now he's started the meds and will be quitting in his second week (as recommended) and will continue them until he's confident enough to go without them.
again, i'm extremely proud that he's finally taken this step and maybe this is what we need to finally get pregnant!
my joining weight watchers
i finally decided to do something about the extra weight i've put on since our wedding last year. 'newlywed nine' my ass! in the past year, i've gained 30lbs. that's 5lbs per month! no wonder none of my shorts from last year didn't fit me this summer : ( i've been surviving the hotter days in 2 pairs of shorts and sundresses. its really depressing to think i've gained that much.
so a friend encouraged me to join and i finally did this past week. it's a little difficult getting used to counting points for everything i eat and making sure i eat what i should be eating and not just all the junk i want to eat. i've signed up for the minimum that i need to sign up for at first, but unfortunately there's a disclaimer that pregnant women can't participate and you're ineligible for weight watchers in that circumstance. its a little saddening, but i understand it. though i still plan to follow it when the time comes, but make sure i'm eating enough to sustain a pregnancy, but follow the basics and the foods i should be eating, not the junk i love to eat.
my ultimate goal would be to lose 40lbs, but for now my goal would be to lose 20 just so i can at least fit into more of my clothes again. they recommend you start with working to lose 5% of your current weight first (for me that's 7lbs) and then work on 10% (15lbs for me). i'm not sure how close i'll get to either of those, but anything lost is good for me pre-pregnancy. if it takes longer for me to get pregnant, that just means i can lose more so i'm at a healthier starting weight when it happens and i'll have less to lose post-pregnancy to reach my ultimate goal (which i will be rejoining post-pregnancy because i don't think i could do it on my own without someone/thing keeping me accountable).
bathroom overhaul
we're finally getting around to renovating our main bathroom. it's going to be a long week in construction mode on a room we use so often, but it will all be worth it when its done.
we're doing:
- new drywall
- tile floor
- new vanity and countertop
- new tub suround
- paint
- new quieter fan
- new mirror
we've already bought all of our supplies so that we don't have to waste time going to the store 10 times each day, its all sitting in our spare room. tonight we're starting with the demo and fixing up the electrical and plumbing. tomoro will be drywalling and first coat of mud, possibly lay the membrane for the tiles. each day after will be a coat of mud until i can paint, then it will be a coat of paint each day til its done. the tiles will hopefully go in on sunday so that they can be grouted and sealed on monday/tuesday. i'm hoping the tub surround can go in on tuesday so we can stop borrowing showers from our neighbours, lol. so by next thursday/friday we'll have a new finished bathroom that hopefully looks amazing!
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