haha, just kidding! but i did improve a ton last night when hubby took me on the course for my first time since i was knee high to a grasshopper when my grandparents used to take us : )
i didn't start out very good, but slowly got better and could whack that ball further than i've done before. that's not to say a handful didn't end up in water hazzards, lol. if i hit one into the water, i'd drop another ball and if that one ended up with its sibling i'd just wait and start again further up the course away from those water hazzards that happen to have swollowed my balls. and i never once got overly frustrated. probably because we weren't at the driving range so i had some time to gather myself while walking to meet my ball and hit it again.
now if only i could be consistent in my swing... guess i'll have to go more often ; )
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
well that's that
(cycle 10, day 1)
it pains to say/write that we're nearing that one year mark since i've been off the pill and 'not preventing' a pregnancy. but really, we've only actively tried the last 2 months out of the last 9 and we're onto our 10th cycle. when talking to one of the nurses that often does my dressing change (yes, i'm still dealing with that!) she suggested i talk to my doctor since you don't really need to do all the waiting some resources suggest you do before getting tested for infertility (writing that actually hurt more than thinking it because now it's out there instead of just in my head). i explained that even though we've been 'trying' for 9 months, there was really only a handful of months that it actually could've worked so i think i decided for us that we'll wait until christmas (that hurt a little too thinking that far ahead and not automatically thinking that i would be pregnant by then) to start testing for infertility (again, ouch).
last month i decided to try a month without tracking my BBT but my CM has never really been reliable. when i thought i should be expecting my monthly gift, i got extremely frustrated when she didn't show and i got a BFN along with slight spotting for 2.5 days. i'm now having just about the worst case of back pain i've had in a very long while and random cramps that hurt like the dickens. i'm not a happy camper today, i especially wasnt the past 3 days while i was limbo waiting for something to happen.
so now we're at a point where i'm not sure i want to continue trying because of our plans to build that addition to the house next spring. basically if we're successful anytime in the next 3 months, its going to be incredibly chaotic around the possible due date. i'm worried because when we are building, i definately won't be able to do very much and i'll feel helpless and DH will feel like he's the only one doing any work around the house. i'll either be heavily pregnant or caring for a newborn who takes all my time all day long.
having a baby during renovations just sounds like a bad idea and i can already see how its going to play out: i'm going to be taking care of a baby all day long while hubby is at work; he'll get home from work and then get straight to work on the addition while i continue to care for a baby; he'll want to go to bed and i'll be up all night caring for a baby because hubby is too tired from all the hard work he puts in everyday and i won't get any help with a baby and be running on no sleep because i'll be up all night and day taking care of OUR baby. definately not how i picture our first months with a new baby : (
but even with all that, we don't want to put trying on hold because god knows how much longer it could take us after we would start trying again. i also can't help but think if we're successful this month that i would happen to go into labour on a day that either supplies are showing up for the addition (like concrete trucks) or his dad and step-mom flying in and we'll be at the hospital and everything will be at a standstill and people will be left at the airport. ARGH!!! lets just hope everything falls into place and i don't have to worry about any of that....
and so because we're going to continue trying, i renewed my fertility friend membership (mostly because i like to track my temps so i know exactly which day to expect AF instead of about which day she'll show up. plus then i get the extra features like the pregnancy tracker after ovulation : P
it pains to say/write that we're nearing that one year mark since i've been off the pill and 'not preventing' a pregnancy. but really, we've only actively tried the last 2 months out of the last 9 and we're onto our 10th cycle. when talking to one of the nurses that often does my dressing change (yes, i'm still dealing with that!) she suggested i talk to my doctor since you don't really need to do all the waiting some resources suggest you do before getting tested for infertility (writing that actually hurt more than thinking it because now it's out there instead of just in my head). i explained that even though we've been 'trying' for 9 months, there was really only a handful of months that it actually could've worked so i think i decided for us that we'll wait until christmas (that hurt a little too thinking that far ahead and not automatically thinking that i would be pregnant by then) to start testing for infertility (again, ouch).
last month i decided to try a month without tracking my BBT but my CM has never really been reliable. when i thought i should be expecting my monthly gift, i got extremely frustrated when she didn't show and i got a BFN along with slight spotting for 2.5 days. i'm now having just about the worst case of back pain i've had in a very long while and random cramps that hurt like the dickens. i'm not a happy camper today, i especially wasnt the past 3 days while i was limbo waiting for something to happen.
so now we're at a point where i'm not sure i want to continue trying because of our plans to build that addition to the house next spring. basically if we're successful anytime in the next 3 months, its going to be incredibly chaotic around the possible due date. i'm worried because when we are building, i definately won't be able to do very much and i'll feel helpless and DH will feel like he's the only one doing any work around the house. i'll either be heavily pregnant or caring for a newborn who takes all my time all day long.
having a baby during renovations just sounds like a bad idea and i can already see how its going to play out: i'm going to be taking care of a baby all day long while hubby is at work; he'll get home from work and then get straight to work on the addition while i continue to care for a baby; he'll want to go to bed and i'll be up all night caring for a baby because hubby is too tired from all the hard work he puts in everyday and i won't get any help with a baby and be running on no sleep because i'll be up all night and day taking care of OUR baby. definately not how i picture our first months with a new baby : (
but even with all that, we don't want to put trying on hold because god knows how much longer it could take us after we would start trying again. i also can't help but think if we're successful this month that i would happen to go into labour on a day that either supplies are showing up for the addition (like concrete trucks) or his dad and step-mom flying in and we'll be at the hospital and everything will be at a standstill and people will be left at the airport. ARGH!!! lets just hope everything falls into place and i don't have to worry about any of that....
and so because we're going to continue trying, i renewed my fertility friend membership (mostly because i like to track my temps so i know exactly which day to expect AF instead of about which day she'll show up. plus then i get the extra features like the pregnancy tracker after ovulation : P
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Who Are You and What Have You Done With My Husband ; )
i got home from work last night and hubby was already working on the screen door at the front of the house, had already bought a new drill to replace our old heavy clunky one and glued the foot board back under the cabinets. it was like i was in a twilight zone with how much he got done, haha. i joked with him about what he did to my old husband and thanked him for getting all that work done. i hope his motivation continues : )
frustrations
i know i haven't been updating as often as i want to be but life's just been crazy busy lately. especially since my family has 3 times a year that practically every weekend is spent doing some sort of family meal. these times happen from mothers day right to the middle of july (this one includes: mother's day, a cousin's birthday, father's day, my grandma's birthday, my sister's birthday, canada day and my mom's birthday), then there's all of september with 5 birthdays and ends with thanksgiving, and finally christmas. this happens to be one of those times and its usually when i get very frustrated and tired of my family to where i don't want to be around them for a couple months.
this year is particularly bad since we're planning my mom's 50th surprise party so dealing with family to plan has proven difficult. my sister and i have gone to our aunt to help us, not take over the planning which she has done. it's to a point that i don't want to talk to her about it because she either complains about something we did or she talks forever about stuff that doesn't really matter. she's already ruined the surprise aspect after we already had a plan in place to make sure the guest of honour would be at her party and that her friends would be invited. apparently she wasn't there when we had this conversation at her house. the invitations weren't out yet and i told my aunt that i would ask my sister what the hold up was and find out when she would get them out. she then took it upon herself, even though i told her i would do it, to call my sister about the invitations so she ended up feeling bullied and kind of hastily made them (which i still think they were done nicely). my aunt then made a big deal about them because she wasn't sent the draft to make sure it had everything in it (which probably should've been done so we don't have to send out a revised invite, but that's besides the point) and then wasn't happy with the way it looked. she wanted it to look like one of the email invites we get from another aunt for all their bdays.
the only reason we even asked her to help us was because we needed to have the party at her house since she has the best yard/setup out of the family to host it. she then took control from there. i don't even want to plan it anymore, but i have to because then i'll feel guilty. i guess i should work on that invitation getting resent with revised info.....
urgh!!! x10000
this year is particularly bad since we're planning my mom's 50th surprise party so dealing with family to plan has proven difficult. my sister and i have gone to our aunt to help us, not take over the planning which she has done. it's to a point that i don't want to talk to her about it because she either complains about something we did or she talks forever about stuff that doesn't really matter. she's already ruined the surprise aspect after we already had a plan in place to make sure the guest of honour would be at her party and that her friends would be invited. apparently she wasn't there when we had this conversation at her house. the invitations weren't out yet and i told my aunt that i would ask my sister what the hold up was and find out when she would get them out. she then took it upon herself, even though i told her i would do it, to call my sister about the invitations so she ended up feeling bullied and kind of hastily made them (which i still think they were done nicely). my aunt then made a big deal about them because she wasn't sent the draft to make sure it had everything in it (which probably should've been done so we don't have to send out a revised invite, but that's besides the point) and then wasn't happy with the way it looked. she wanted it to look like one of the email invites we get from another aunt for all their bdays.
the only reason we even asked her to help us was because we needed to have the party at her house since she has the best yard/setup out of the family to host it. she then took control from there. i don't even want to plan it anymore, but i have to because then i'll feel guilty. i guess i should work on that invitation getting resent with revised info.....
urgh!!! x10000
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