(cycle 32, day 4)
AF showed up, of course. I didn't test early, but I also had a feeling she would be showing up since my good symptoms started disappearing by Saturday and AF showed up on sunday. I wasn't really upset that much, other than the same ol' being resentful towards the house for causing us to have break after break during TTC. we'll get there, but i'm starting to get more convinced that it will involve medical intervention...
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Thursday, March 21, 2013
can't help it
(cycle 31, day 25, 10dpo)
I can't help but symptom hunt, dammit! I was trying my best to not do it, but I did anyway. last night and today, my boobs are particularly more tender than normal in the 2ww. like I actually have to hold them in place when running up or down the stairs. I haven't had to do that in quite a while, like about a year ago I think. I've also been having more cramping than normal. I can't help be feel, yet again, convinced that this cycle worked. but aside from most cycles, unless I end up with more tests before the weekend, I won't be testing til Tuesday. that would give AF a good chance to show up on time and not be frustrated searching for any hint of a line on an obvious BFN.
why do I do this to myself every. single. cycle.?
I can't help but symptom hunt, dammit! I was trying my best to not do it, but I did anyway. last night and today, my boobs are particularly more tender than normal in the 2ww. like I actually have to hold them in place when running up or down the stairs. I haven't had to do that in quite a while, like about a year ago I think. I've also been having more cramping than normal. I can't help be feel, yet again, convinced that this cycle worked. but aside from most cycles, unless I end up with more tests before the weekend, I won't be testing til Tuesday. that would give AF a good chance to show up on time and not be frustrated searching for any hint of a line on an obvious BFN.
why do I do this to myself every. single. cycle.?
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
...or maybe not!
maybe i'm not getting sick! today, my throat is much better, so I think I might be out of the woods on this one.
I've got some cramping going on, so i'm beginning to be hopeful about this cycle, but i'm still not reading too much into it because i'm assuming AF will show up Monday as scheduled.
I've got some cramping going on, so i'm beginning to be hopeful about this cycle, but i'm still not reading too much into it because i'm assuming AF will show up Monday as scheduled.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
getting another cold
(cycle 31, day 23, 8 dpo)
i'm getting sick : (
I last was sick at the end of January with a sore throat followed by a stuffed nose. i'm getting the sore throat again... I hope it doesn't get worse cuz I have plans this weekend! I also don't want to take anything like last time cuz of the possibility of being pregnant.
on that note, 8 dpo, and i'm not sure. I don't want to make assumptions based on symptoms since that hasn't worked so well for me that last few cycles. after last cycle, I told myself I wasn't going to do the same thing anymore. i'm tired of being let down month after month. I've been doing pretty good with forgetting what day of my cycle i'm on and I've been pretty laid back and not wanting to POAS already. i'm hoping the busy weekend will complete that train of thought and I can make it to Monday before even considering testing, but of course won't test on Monday since AF is due and i'd like to give her a chance to show up first before wasting my last cheapie (I guess its time I finally restock on those...)
of course, I can't completely ignore what symptoms I may have, i'm just not going to let them make me think i'm in fact pregnant and cause me to test early. so far, I think I've had some cramping the last day or so that's maybe more prominent than the last couple cycles that make me think it could be implantation like the cycle I actually did get pregnant. my boobs (well more like my chest) is finally starting to get sore, that's normally the case a couple days earlier than this, so i'm hoping the delay in that happening is due to pregnancy. but again, no testing for me yet. I've got another week ahead of me...
i'm getting sick : (
I last was sick at the end of January with a sore throat followed by a stuffed nose. i'm getting the sore throat again... I hope it doesn't get worse cuz I have plans this weekend! I also don't want to take anything like last time cuz of the possibility of being pregnant.
on that note, 8 dpo, and i'm not sure. I don't want to make assumptions based on symptoms since that hasn't worked so well for me that last few cycles. after last cycle, I told myself I wasn't going to do the same thing anymore. i'm tired of being let down month after month. I've been doing pretty good with forgetting what day of my cycle i'm on and I've been pretty laid back and not wanting to POAS already. i'm hoping the busy weekend will complete that train of thought and I can make it to Monday before even considering testing, but of course won't test on Monday since AF is due and i'd like to give her a chance to show up first before wasting my last cheapie (I guess its time I finally restock on those...)
of course, I can't completely ignore what symptoms I may have, i'm just not going to let them make me think i'm in fact pregnant and cause me to test early. so far, I think I've had some cramping the last day or so that's maybe more prominent than the last couple cycles that make me think it could be implantation like the cycle I actually did get pregnant. my boobs (well more like my chest) is finally starting to get sore, that's normally the case a couple days earlier than this, so i'm hoping the delay in that happening is due to pregnancy. but again, no testing for me yet. I've got another week ahead of me...
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
finally, a plan!
finally, after many months of being up in the air with TTC because of the house, we have a plan to move forward : )
dh has noticed my efforts lately and i didn't tell him this cycle when i was fertile (we only managed to BD O-3...) which he prefered and felt way less stressed about (though i was pretty frustrated because its our last cycle that will allow us to go home for xmas without taking a break). so now, if this cycle doesn't result in pregnancy (like i'm assuming), we'll just do what we did last summer and NTNP until the house is done (which i've already written about) and then maybe put in some effort when we're more relaxed and enjoying the house and summer. at the end of summer, we'll finally pursue testing. he's very much not wanting to do an SA, but really, its one of the easiest things to do testing wise since its non-invasive and no needles needed. i would much rather know if there is an issue so we can stop trying to make it happen naturally if that's just not even a possibility. why waste time, you know? so thank god, we finally have a plan if nothing happens over the next 5-6 months.
i really hate that the house has put the brakes on all of this, i kind of resent in fact. i know it was better to do it now when we don't have kids to slow down the progress because of needing to care for them, but fuck, did we really need the house to prolong TTC an extra year? if it weren't for the damn house, we probably wouldn't still be in this clueless phase (in regards to not knowing if there are potential issues) and at least have answers if we weren't pregnant yet and on our way to making it happen for real.
the last couple days have been a little hard on me because of the lack of plan in place to deal with this. now that we have a plan, i am breathing a bit of a sigh of relief. its not a full sigh since i have a 5-6 month waiting period to see if either we magically have it happen while NTNP before going ahead iwth testing, but at this point, i'm just thankful there's a bit of an end in sight til we have an actual schedule of what will happen when instead of being up in the air about it all. i just need some damn structure back in my life!
dh has noticed my efforts lately and i didn't tell him this cycle when i was fertile (we only managed to BD O-3...) which he prefered and felt way less stressed about (though i was pretty frustrated because its our last cycle that will allow us to go home for xmas without taking a break). so now, if this cycle doesn't result in pregnancy (like i'm assuming), we'll just do what we did last summer and NTNP until the house is done (which i've already written about) and then maybe put in some effort when we're more relaxed and enjoying the house and summer. at the end of summer, we'll finally pursue testing. he's very much not wanting to do an SA, but really, its one of the easiest things to do testing wise since its non-invasive and no needles needed. i would much rather know if there is an issue so we can stop trying to make it happen naturally if that's just not even a possibility. why waste time, you know? so thank god, we finally have a plan if nothing happens over the next 5-6 months.
i really hate that the house has put the brakes on all of this, i kind of resent in fact. i know it was better to do it now when we don't have kids to slow down the progress because of needing to care for them, but fuck, did we really need the house to prolong TTC an extra year? if it weren't for the damn house, we probably wouldn't still be in this clueless phase (in regards to not knowing if there are potential issues) and at least have answers if we weren't pregnant yet and on our way to making it happen for real.
the last couple days have been a little hard on me because of the lack of plan in place to deal with this. now that we have a plan, i am breathing a bit of a sigh of relief. its not a full sigh since i have a 5-6 month waiting period to see if either we magically have it happen while NTNP before going ahead iwth testing, but at this point, i'm just thankful there's a bit of an end in sight til we have an actual schedule of what will happen when instead of being up in the air about it all. i just need some damn structure back in my life!
Monday, March 11, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
and end in sight...
yikes!
good thing i took a quick look at the permit website (for the addition) because i figured permits would be good until you finish the project, as long as it was started within the year of being approved for one. taking a look at the website, its actually not the case. enter panic mode... :-/
you actually have to start work within 90 days of getting the permit and then must be completed within a year (less than 2 months from now!). OMG!!! i'm pretty sure we still have at least 3 months worth of work to finish (and that's if we start getting a move on and work on it every weekend) and our permit is only good until the end of april...
you can apply for a 3 month extension, but its at the discretion of the inspection company. holy worries batman! so i called them up and asked about it, and got an extension to get us to july 30th. do you know what that means? that means we'll be done and using the addition by then! i'm not sure if that stresses me out knowing we have a date we need to have our last inspection by with all the work we have left, or relieves me knowing there is an absolute end to this. i realized this week that we kind of need to have this done in the next 4 months or i won't have a place for my dad to sleep when they come out for my sisters wedding...
ugh, nothing like putting an expiration date that might be a bit of a stretch on something that's been dragging on lately :-(
good thing i took a quick look at the permit website (for the addition) because i figured permits would be good until you finish the project, as long as it was started within the year of being approved for one. taking a look at the website, its actually not the case. enter panic mode... :-/
you actually have to start work within 90 days of getting the permit and then must be completed within a year (less than 2 months from now!). OMG!!! i'm pretty sure we still have at least 3 months worth of work to finish (and that's if we start getting a move on and work on it every weekend) and our permit is only good until the end of april...
you can apply for a 3 month extension, but its at the discretion of the inspection company. holy worries batman! so i called them up and asked about it, and got an extension to get us to july 30th. do you know what that means? that means we'll be done and using the addition by then! i'm not sure if that stresses me out knowing we have a date we need to have our last inspection by with all the work we have left, or relieves me knowing there is an absolute end to this. i realized this week that we kind of need to have this done in the next 4 months or i won't have a place for my dad to sleep when they come out for my sisters wedding...
ugh, nothing like putting an expiration date that might be a bit of a stretch on something that's been dragging on lately :-(
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