(cycle 30, day 3)
yep, you read that right, AF showed up, on time (well on time according to OPKs, CM and my intuition, not according to temps). of course i tested friday, saturday and sunday because i'm a POAS-aholic. heh. i'm remaining a little hopeful that technically it only took 6 cycles once we were actively TTC to finally get pregnant. its now been 7 cycles (i'm on #8) since the MC that we've actively TTC, albeit sporadically, so i'm still a little hopeful that all it will take is some consistent BDing every cycle and we should finally see a BFP. IDK if i'm being ridiculous in being that kind of hopeful, but we'll see i guess.
this past weekend i went out on a limb and did a boudoir shoot. it was something i was thinking of doing lately after losing that weight with WW, but i had been waiting because i didn't want to be pregnant and doing it since then i'd have a lovely bloat that wouldn't look nice in pics (you know, that uncomfortable stage of pregnancy where you know you're pregnant, but others would just think you had a few too many treats?) and i also didn't want to be too pregnant because i want to remember my body as it is now, pre-kids. something i can look back on after having kids to motivate myself to lose the extra padding and get back to the shape i'm in now, which is the best shape i've been in all my life. so i saw that this amazing photographer (here: http://www.nicoleashley.ca/ & here: https://www.facebook.com/#!/nicashleyphoto) had a couple openings for her next marathons so i kind of just jumped at the chance. what sold me is her style of photography, her team of stylists that do hair, makeup and pick out your "looks". it was so nice to feel pampered and then get gorgeous pics taken, i felt SEXY AS HELL! those ladies know what they're doing and they make you feel so comfortable. so far, all i've seen is a headshot preview, but it made me so excited to see the rest of them : ) i keep stalking the FB page hoping to see something of mine, but then i remember this was supposed to be a total surprise to DH and she knows that so some ladies don't want anything shared before giving them to their loved ones (myself included) so i have to keep reminding myself of that. i've been wanting to show him the pic since i got it because i love it so much, lol. its taking everything so save it for when i was intending for him to see them. i'm planning on showing them to him this coming cycle when i'm fertile to help give him a little motivation, so i'm just hoping i get the DVD in time for this since that will be a couple days before Vday... every woman seriously needs to do photos like this with an experienced photog. i gained so much self confidence in those 3 hours, if i had a never ending supply of money, i would do this all the time, haha. i won't be posting a pic until after DH sees them since i don't want anyone to inadvertently see them and he somehow see them (i have no idea how that would happen, but i'm not taking chances!). so for now, they're between my photog and me. i'll definately post a non-incriminating one once i get them : )
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Keeping Hope
(cycle 29, day 24, 8 dpo)
i'm remaining hopeful this cycle, but i'm worried its false hope and this cycle will end like the rest of them, with AF. i'm obviously hoping for a BFP instead, but i've had a handful of cycles since the MC where i swore i was pregnant, but i clearly wasn't.
so far, i've had cramping starting on 5dpo. it could be in my head, but it could be real. my right boob has been a bit tender at times when normally its my left, so that's promising. the last couple days, i love pickles, though it could be they were in the fridge and since they're a 0 point food with WW i've been looking at them more favorably. but yesterday, after eating some, i had a tea aftertaste. i hate tea, lol. this morning i woke up with a bit of a headache. i didn't take anything for it, but it was gone within 10 mintues so i thought that was a bit weird. i guess we'll see come friday or saturday...
i've now been hired as a weight watcher's receptionist! i'm so excited about it : ) i've only been going to my monthly meeting to keep up my lifetime membership, but since i was going every week, i might as well get paid for it. it will also help keep my weight in check since i have to weigh in at each meeting i work. something i've been needing to do. i don't have to work every single week, but the more i work, the more i get paid ; ) i can't wait to put that money into savings!
i'm remaining hopeful this cycle, but i'm worried its false hope and this cycle will end like the rest of them, with AF. i'm obviously hoping for a BFP instead, but i've had a handful of cycles since the MC where i swore i was pregnant, but i clearly wasn't.
so far, i've had cramping starting on 5dpo. it could be in my head, but it could be real. my right boob has been a bit tender at times when normally its my left, so that's promising. the last couple days, i love pickles, though it could be they were in the fridge and since they're a 0 point food with WW i've been looking at them more favorably. but yesterday, after eating some, i had a tea aftertaste. i hate tea, lol. this morning i woke up with a bit of a headache. i didn't take anything for it, but it was gone within 10 mintues so i thought that was a bit weird. i guess we'll see come friday or saturday...
i've now been hired as a weight watcher's receptionist! i'm so excited about it : ) i've only been going to my monthly meeting to keep up my lifetime membership, but since i was going every week, i might as well get paid for it. it will also help keep my weight in check since i have to weigh in at each meeting i work. something i've been needing to do. i don't have to work every single week, but the more i work, the more i get paid ; ) i can't wait to put that money into savings!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
intolerance or no intolerance, that is the question...
(cycle 29, day 16, possibly 1dpo)
apparently my egg intolerance is a hit and miss thing. last week, after having eggs 2 days in a row and having the same cramps the same amount of time after eating them was a 2 time thing. i had eggs again this week and i didn't get all crampy. i figure if i'm going to give up such an easy thing to make in a pinch, i better double triple quadruple check that it the intolerance is here to stay. but its not, for now anyway, so that's good : )
as for possibly being 1dpo, i'm not sure WTF happened. i've always Od the day after a positive OPK, like clockwork. i had an almost positive OPK on cd13 and then on cd14 it was a no-doubt-about-it positive OPK. in all my past cycles using the cheapie OPKs, the following day was O day and the past few cycles i've even felt O cramps that coincided with this. on cycles where i've only used OPKs and forewent temping, AF always showed up when expected, not a day later to give any indication that O would have been 2 days after a positive OPK... so i don't know what to do. there's nothing i really can do. if today is O day, then we have O-4 and O-2. i was hoping for better than that for once. if yesterday was O day, then we would've had O-3 and O-1, i like those odds a lot better and if that were the case, i wouldn't care about about our timing because its pretty damn good. this always fucking figures. i think we have it in the bag for the cycle and then something happens (like Oing a day later) to shatter those hopes of it being the cycle. i can't win.
i'd love to fastforward 1.5 weeks and get a BFP so i can feel like all this worrying and freaking out will be for nothing and i can laugh at how ridiculous i'm being. but now i'm sure i won't be getting a BFP and this was all a waste. its all a waste anyway. i don't see us getting pregnant in the next 3 months anyway, that's just our luck these days. 2011 used the last of our luck... and i thought this year was going to be our year...
ugh.
apparently my egg intolerance is a hit and miss thing. last week, after having eggs 2 days in a row and having the same cramps the same amount of time after eating them was a 2 time thing. i had eggs again this week and i didn't get all crampy. i figure if i'm going to give up such an easy thing to make in a pinch, i better double triple quadruple check that it the intolerance is here to stay. but its not, for now anyway, so that's good : )
as for possibly being 1dpo, i'm not sure WTF happened. i've always Od the day after a positive OPK, like clockwork. i had an almost positive OPK on cd13 and then on cd14 it was a no-doubt-about-it positive OPK. in all my past cycles using the cheapie OPKs, the following day was O day and the past few cycles i've even felt O cramps that coincided with this. on cycles where i've only used OPKs and forewent temping, AF always showed up when expected, not a day later to give any indication that O would have been 2 days after a positive OPK... so i don't know what to do. there's nothing i really can do. if today is O day, then we have O-4 and O-2. i was hoping for better than that for once. if yesterday was O day, then we would've had O-3 and O-1, i like those odds a lot better and if that were the case, i wouldn't care about about our timing because its pretty damn good. this always fucking figures. i think we have it in the bag for the cycle and then something happens (like Oing a day later) to shatter those hopes of it being the cycle. i can't win.
i'd love to fastforward 1.5 weeks and get a BFP so i can feel like all this worrying and freaking out will be for nothing and i can laugh at how ridiculous i'm being. but now i'm sure i won't be getting a BFP and this was all a waste. its all a waste anyway. i don't see us getting pregnant in the next 3 months anyway, that's just our luck these days. 2011 used the last of our luck... and i thought this year was going to be our year...
ugh.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
egg intolerance
(cycle 29, day 11)
i don't recall if i mentioned about having an intolerance to eggs when i was pregnant last year and it continuing even after losing the pregnancy... yeah. it started when i was pregnant. my stomach would cramp up within a matter of hours after eating eggs (in skillets, sandwiches, but not baked goods) and i would feel sick to my stomach and spend a couple hours curled up trying to sleep it off. i happily gave them up while pregnant.
after having the MC, i thought maybe i'd be able to eat them again since i was able to eat cereal again (it tasted like cardboard, lol). that didn't happen. i was in the same stomach pain after eating them as i had when i was pregnant. every so often i would try them again hoping it would go away. it didn't so after about 4 or 5 months i just gave them up completely. it sometimes sucked for breakfast on weekends, or breakfast for supper nights, but i managed. its not like they were my favorite food and felt deprived not being able to eat them. it was more of an inconvenience because if i made eggs for DH, i'd have to make myself something else. he didn't get eggs as often as i'm sure he would've liked because of it...
after some boxing day shopping we went to smitty's to get a late breakfast. i was bummed out at the thought of being limited to waffles, french toast and pancakes. all of which are a subjective food and you either like the way a place makes them, or you don't because they're never as good as they are somewhere else. i am one of those snobs : P i normally don't like fluffy pancakes, but i like the ones made from scratch and not from a box, so that wiped out pancakes. DH makes the best french toast, but i've also had great french toast from other places, i just forgot about that fact until now, lol. so that left me with waffles. the last time we were there for breakfast, the waffle wasn't all that great. it was too crispy for my liking (i loved my step-moms waffles, mmmm... now i want a waffle maker, lol) so i didn't want it again. DH suggested getting eggs and i first told him i can't because of my intolerance, but all the egg dishes sounded so damn good at that moment! i decided to go for it since it had been quite a while since my last attempt at eating eggs. i tried to eat around the eggs and stick mostly to the hashbrown potatoes in the skillet, but still eat at least some eggs to see if my intolerance had finally worn off.
SUCCESS!!!
...til today. dammit. i made eggs for supper (ate them at 9pm, i was lazy, lol) since DH went out for wings and at first i thought i was fine. when i went to bed, i felt a little crampy, but i wasn't sure if it was in my head or not because it wasn't overly painful or uncomfortable, i barely even noticed it. i figured since my battle with eggs was over, i'd have the same thing for lunch today after oatmeal the last 2 days. then came 3pm and the cramps started. ugh. so i guess i have to continue avoiding eggs :-/ ah well. i was hoping i'd be able to get away with them for the time being and if it started again when i got pregnant, i would happily give them up. i just wasn't quite ready to give them again so soon. its only been 2 weeks! gah!
i hope this ends at some point. i totally forgot to ask my doc about it when i saw her in november, so hopefully i remember for the next time i see her... hopefully its not 10 years from now, done having kids and still dealing with an egg intolerance. that would suck.
i don't recall if i mentioned about having an intolerance to eggs when i was pregnant last year and it continuing even after losing the pregnancy... yeah. it started when i was pregnant. my stomach would cramp up within a matter of hours after eating eggs (in skillets, sandwiches, but not baked goods) and i would feel sick to my stomach and spend a couple hours curled up trying to sleep it off. i happily gave them up while pregnant.
after having the MC, i thought maybe i'd be able to eat them again since i was able to eat cereal again (it tasted like cardboard, lol). that didn't happen. i was in the same stomach pain after eating them as i had when i was pregnant. every so often i would try them again hoping it would go away. it didn't so after about 4 or 5 months i just gave them up completely. it sometimes sucked for breakfast on weekends, or breakfast for supper nights, but i managed. its not like they were my favorite food and felt deprived not being able to eat them. it was more of an inconvenience because if i made eggs for DH, i'd have to make myself something else. he didn't get eggs as often as i'm sure he would've liked because of it...
after some boxing day shopping we went to smitty's to get a late breakfast. i was bummed out at the thought of being limited to waffles, french toast and pancakes. all of which are a subjective food and you either like the way a place makes them, or you don't because they're never as good as they are somewhere else. i am one of those snobs : P i normally don't like fluffy pancakes, but i like the ones made from scratch and not from a box, so that wiped out pancakes. DH makes the best french toast, but i've also had great french toast from other places, i just forgot about that fact until now, lol. so that left me with waffles. the last time we were there for breakfast, the waffle wasn't all that great. it was too crispy for my liking (i loved my step-moms waffles, mmmm... now i want a waffle maker, lol) so i didn't want it again. DH suggested getting eggs and i first told him i can't because of my intolerance, but all the egg dishes sounded so damn good at that moment! i decided to go for it since it had been quite a while since my last attempt at eating eggs. i tried to eat around the eggs and stick mostly to the hashbrown potatoes in the skillet, but still eat at least some eggs to see if my intolerance had finally worn off.
SUCCESS!!!
...til today. dammit. i made eggs for supper (ate them at 9pm, i was lazy, lol) since DH went out for wings and at first i thought i was fine. when i went to bed, i felt a little crampy, but i wasn't sure if it was in my head or not because it wasn't overly painful or uncomfortable, i barely even noticed it. i figured since my battle with eggs was over, i'd have the same thing for lunch today after oatmeal the last 2 days. then came 3pm and the cramps started. ugh. so i guess i have to continue avoiding eggs :-/ ah well. i was hoping i'd be able to get away with them for the time being and if it started again when i got pregnant, i would happily give them up. i just wasn't quite ready to give them again so soon. its only been 2 weeks! gah!
i hope this ends at some point. i totally forgot to ask my doc about it when i saw her in november, so hopefully i remember for the next time i see her... hopefully its not 10 years from now, done having kids and still dealing with an egg intolerance. that would suck.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
optimistic?
(cycle 29, day 10)
time seems to be moving so slowly, but at the same time, its not, if that makes sense. it feels like forever ago that i had AF and like its taking forever to get into the fertile phase of my cycle. but really, its just around the corner. i'm set to O on monday (cd15) if this cycle is to be anything like my previous 4 cycles, so this weekend is go time!
i wanted to try temping again to pinpoint O for accurate dates, but i totally forgot last night to put my BBT out for the morning, and i totally forgot i wanted to temp this morning. oops! hoping i can remember for tomoro and friday so i have somewhat of a baseline... i've been trying to drink more water, so i guess i'll have to stop that on friday if i want my OPKs to be accurate (though i guess i only have to cut out fluids for just a few hours before wanting to test, so its not too bad). i'm going to base whether i temp on sunday off of OPKs. if i get a positive on saturday, i'm going to temp sunday. if i don't get a positive OPK til sunday, i'll wait to temp on monday. i typically O the day after a positive OPK, so at least i don't have to set an alarm to temp over the weekend unless i get a positive OPK. i'll also stop temping once O is confirmed so that i don't go crazy analyzing my temps trying to figure out if i have an implantation dip or if its turning into a triphasic chart. its no fun getting all excited because your temps are doing great things, just to be brought down by a BFN, a temp nosedive or AF herself.
i'm somewhat optimistic and trying to stay that way instead of letting the pessimist in me come out. i want to be hopeful like i used to be, not be too realistic for my own good and always assuming it will never happen since it hasn't happened again yet. i'm excited about TTC, but at the same time scared shitless! i'm not sure i'll believe a BFP when i see it because i've seen a few too many evaps since the MC, so its hard to believe any of those would actually be a BFP instead. i remember the surreal feeling of staring at a BFP. i want that back.
body, please accept a baby!
time seems to be moving so slowly, but at the same time, its not, if that makes sense. it feels like forever ago that i had AF and like its taking forever to get into the fertile phase of my cycle. but really, its just around the corner. i'm set to O on monday (cd15) if this cycle is to be anything like my previous 4 cycles, so this weekend is go time!
i wanted to try temping again to pinpoint O for accurate dates, but i totally forgot last night to put my BBT out for the morning, and i totally forgot i wanted to temp this morning. oops! hoping i can remember for tomoro and friday so i have somewhat of a baseline... i've been trying to drink more water, so i guess i'll have to stop that on friday if i want my OPKs to be accurate (though i guess i only have to cut out fluids for just a few hours before wanting to test, so its not too bad). i'm going to base whether i temp on sunday off of OPKs. if i get a positive on saturday, i'm going to temp sunday. if i don't get a positive OPK til sunday, i'll wait to temp on monday. i typically O the day after a positive OPK, so at least i don't have to set an alarm to temp over the weekend unless i get a positive OPK. i'll also stop temping once O is confirmed so that i don't go crazy analyzing my temps trying to figure out if i have an implantation dip or if its turning into a triphasic chart. its no fun getting all excited because your temps are doing great things, just to be brought down by a BFN, a temp nosedive or AF herself.
i'm somewhat optimistic and trying to stay that way instead of letting the pessimist in me come out. i want to be hopeful like i used to be, not be too realistic for my own good and always assuming it will never happen since it hasn't happened again yet. i'm excited about TTC, but at the same time scared shitless! i'm not sure i'll believe a BFP when i see it because i've seen a few too many evaps since the MC, so its hard to believe any of those would actually be a BFP instead. i remember the surreal feeling of staring at a BFP. i want that back.
body, please accept a baby!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Where to Begin?
(cycle 29, day 3)
its been quite a while since i last updated... i wish i could post some good news about a vacation BFP, but of course, that didn't happen :-/ we only BDd our first night away and i O'd the day after getting home and we didn't BD til about a week after that, so... yeah. still baby-less. fuck.
anyway, i guess i should get up to speed on life and whatnot so i'm not totally falling behind on my blogging.
obviously i didn't get a BFP from my november cycle after seeing my doc. so i carried on to cycle 28 for the month of december. i didn't do any supplements/vitamins either. i didn't see a point since i wasn't going to bring them on vacation with me which was also the week before O, so i just didn't bother. at least i still had the same cycle timing as the last 3 without taking it, so that's got to be good right?
house progress has been a little slow the past month, but that's okay. i think we needed the mental break from it. we did get the preliminary electrical inspection passed, so we can totally insulate and vapour barrier the entire thing to get it warm. we also need to get the plumbing in (something that needs to be done to fully finish insulating). we've gone this long without it totally insulated, i'm not really worried about the rest of winter. DH did get the rest of the upstairs walls insulated and a good portion of the garage walls insulated, so we're getting there. we also have to put up the vapour barrier on the ceiling upstairs so we can put up that drywall so we can get the blown-in insulation in that part of the house so we're no longer losing heat from that side of the house. we still have a wall to move upstairs, so we'll probably have to get the blown-in done twice, but we gotta do what we gotta do. i'm hoping we'll be totally drywalling by end of this month so we can get started on finishes and whatnot. we're nearing the home stretch! *hopefully*
we also had the fire dept xmas party at the beginning of december. at which we decided that we're going to spend next xmas back in ontario with DH's family and also my dad's family. neither of which we've celebrated xmas with in at least 11 years! it will be so nice to go back home for the holidays. we haven't been back to ontario since summer of '09, so its a bit overdue : )
we'd love to be able to bring a LO back with us to meet everyone, so we've also decided to actively TTC the next 3 cycles in hopes of that becoming a reality.
i'm not sure how i feel about TTC again. i'm still sad that we even have to continue trying for take home baby #1 since we were supposed to have been celebrating this xmas with our 3 month old baby... putting their first ornaments on tree, getting ungodly early on xmas morning because the baby woke up, showing off our LO in their xmas outfits at getogethers... its actually a little depressing that instead of doing that, i'm wishing for what could have been and not looking forward to what could be and not really truely celebrating the holidays. it hasn't helped that the house is a mess so it hasn't really even felt like xmas and being in mexico just a week before xmas messed us up too (only messed up feeling festive, not messed up being relaxed or anything, cuz it definately helped do that).
anyway, back on topic with keeping up to date...
so yeah, my mom is in a bit of a huff in case we do manage to get pregnant in the next 3 months. figures. but whatever. apparently i'm not allowed to live my life as an adult and we can't make our own decision about where we spend xmas once a baby is in the picture *insert eye rolls* yeah, she even went so far as to tell me that she would be deeply hurt and might not be able to forgive us if we took her first grandbaby away for their first xmas. ugh. its not like they're going to be grabbing at wrapping paper and know wtf is going on anyway... the oldest they would be is 3 months by xmas (and that's if we hit the jackpot and get pregnant this first month trying again) so they won't remember any of it anyway. besides, its not important where we celebrate xmas, its just important that us as parents are spending it with our kids. my mom should also know by now that when she makes comments like that, it only makes me want to go against her even more and do exactly what she doesn't want us to do, so if i do get pregnant in the next 3 months, i guess i'll have her to thank ; )
xmas was good, other than that bit of cloudiness thanks to my mom. laid back so we really got a chance to take it easy. we also didn't do anything house related until the day after boxing day. we did the big family thing on the 22nd with chinese food to avoid a bit cleanup. by the end of the night, there was some friendly competition going on with who could get their wine glass singing. my poor cousin didn't have much luck for quite a while and everyone got a good laugh. my mom actually has a hilarious video at her attempt. xmas eve, we did turkey at our house so that i would have leftover to make soup since i had just run out of my supply from my last batch. we had my sis and FBIL and his sisters over and then played "life" a couple times after. good times. xmas morning we spent at home, the first time my mom hasn't made us go over there to open gifts. it was nice not having to rush out the door after just waking up because she wants us to open presents. that afternoon we headed to her place to open gifts before dinner. it was nice that she didn't buy us a bunch of crap we won't use, but she's still got the problem of having to buy as many gifts as she can til she gets to whatever limit she sets out to spend. would've rathered some candy in my stocking over a couple things, but that's alright. i'd wish she's stop buying my ornaments though since i've started picking and choosing which ones go on the tree becuase i simply have too many. 25 would've been a good year for her to stop. i don't want to be 60 years old and still getting them for crying out loud!
DH started working on the house the day after boxing day. i did some sewing (hemming new pants) and baking and soup making. i think i have enough soup for us to have some at least every other week until next xmas! that's a lot of soup!!! i don't think i'll be making quite so much next time, but we'll see how long my stash lasts... we're now back to work after only working 10 days in december, guess it had to end at some point. i just hope 2013 is better for us than 2012 was *fingers crossed*
its been quite a while since i last updated... i wish i could post some good news about a vacation BFP, but of course, that didn't happen :-/ we only BDd our first night away and i O'd the day after getting home and we didn't BD til about a week after that, so... yeah. still baby-less. fuck.
anyway, i guess i should get up to speed on life and whatnot so i'm not totally falling behind on my blogging.
obviously i didn't get a BFP from my november cycle after seeing my doc. so i carried on to cycle 28 for the month of december. i didn't do any supplements/vitamins either. i didn't see a point since i wasn't going to bring them on vacation with me which was also the week before O, so i just didn't bother. at least i still had the same cycle timing as the last 3 without taking it, so that's got to be good right?
house progress has been a little slow the past month, but that's okay. i think we needed the mental break from it. we did get the preliminary electrical inspection passed, so we can totally insulate and vapour barrier the entire thing to get it warm. we also need to get the plumbing in (something that needs to be done to fully finish insulating). we've gone this long without it totally insulated, i'm not really worried about the rest of winter. DH did get the rest of the upstairs walls insulated and a good portion of the garage walls insulated, so we're getting there. we also have to put up the vapour barrier on the ceiling upstairs so we can put up that drywall so we can get the blown-in insulation in that part of the house so we're no longer losing heat from that side of the house. we still have a wall to move upstairs, so we'll probably have to get the blown-in done twice, but we gotta do what we gotta do. i'm hoping we'll be totally drywalling by end of this month so we can get started on finishes and whatnot. we're nearing the home stretch! *hopefully*
we also had the fire dept xmas party at the beginning of december. at which we decided that we're going to spend next xmas back in ontario with DH's family and also my dad's family. neither of which we've celebrated xmas with in at least 11 years! it will be so nice to go back home for the holidays. we haven't been back to ontario since summer of '09, so its a bit overdue : )
we'd love to be able to bring a LO back with us to meet everyone, so we've also decided to actively TTC the next 3 cycles in hopes of that becoming a reality.
i'm not sure how i feel about TTC again. i'm still sad that we even have to continue trying for take home baby #1 since we were supposed to have been celebrating this xmas with our 3 month old baby... putting their first ornaments on tree, getting ungodly early on xmas morning because the baby woke up, showing off our LO in their xmas outfits at getogethers... its actually a little depressing that instead of doing that, i'm wishing for what could have been and not looking forward to what could be and not really truely celebrating the holidays. it hasn't helped that the house is a mess so it hasn't really even felt like xmas and being in mexico just a week before xmas messed us up too (only messed up feeling festive, not messed up being relaxed or anything, cuz it definately helped do that).
anyway, back on topic with keeping up to date...
so yeah, my mom is in a bit of a huff in case we do manage to get pregnant in the next 3 months. figures. but whatever. apparently i'm not allowed to live my life as an adult and we can't make our own decision about where we spend xmas once a baby is in the picture *insert eye rolls* yeah, she even went so far as to tell me that she would be deeply hurt and might not be able to forgive us if we took her first grandbaby away for their first xmas. ugh. its not like they're going to be grabbing at wrapping paper and know wtf is going on anyway... the oldest they would be is 3 months by xmas (and that's if we hit the jackpot and get pregnant this first month trying again) so they won't remember any of it anyway. besides, its not important where we celebrate xmas, its just important that us as parents are spending it with our kids. my mom should also know by now that when she makes comments like that, it only makes me want to go against her even more and do exactly what she doesn't want us to do, so if i do get pregnant in the next 3 months, i guess i'll have her to thank ; )
xmas was good, other than that bit of cloudiness thanks to my mom. laid back so we really got a chance to take it easy. we also didn't do anything house related until the day after boxing day. we did the big family thing on the 22nd with chinese food to avoid a bit cleanup. by the end of the night, there was some friendly competition going on with who could get their wine glass singing. my poor cousin didn't have much luck for quite a while and everyone got a good laugh. my mom actually has a hilarious video at her attempt. xmas eve, we did turkey at our house so that i would have leftover to make soup since i had just run out of my supply from my last batch. we had my sis and FBIL and his sisters over and then played "life" a couple times after. good times. xmas morning we spent at home, the first time my mom hasn't made us go over there to open gifts. it was nice not having to rush out the door after just waking up because she wants us to open presents. that afternoon we headed to her place to open gifts before dinner. it was nice that she didn't buy us a bunch of crap we won't use, but she's still got the problem of having to buy as many gifts as she can til she gets to whatever limit she sets out to spend. would've rathered some candy in my stocking over a couple things, but that's alright. i'd wish she's stop buying my ornaments though since i've started picking and choosing which ones go on the tree becuase i simply have too many. 25 would've been a good year for her to stop. i don't want to be 60 years old and still getting them for crying out loud!
DH started working on the house the day after boxing day. i did some sewing (hemming new pants) and baking and soup making. i think i have enough soup for us to have some at least every other week until next xmas! that's a lot of soup!!! i don't think i'll be making quite so much next time, but we'll see how long my stash lasts... we're now back to work after only working 10 days in december, guess it had to end at some point. i just hope 2013 is better for us than 2012 was *fingers crossed*
Good Riddance to 2012...
2012 was a rough year. i'd rather not relive the events that unfolded within the first month and overshadowed much of the rest of 2012 for me. if i could sum up 2012, i'd say it was hell. so much heartbreak for a heart that never got to beat, not even once.
it was a very trying year for us since we had to continue with the stress that TTC brings along with building an addition to our house. we've managed to get through it all together, even though i'm sure we both wanted to kill eachother at some point, but we survived. that's probably how we got through the entire year, just trying to survive everything that was going on and not really living or fully enjoying everything, just tried to keep our heads above water.
we dealt with 2 of the hardest things a couple can deal with, a MC and a major house reno. i still think we were crazy to think we could do the house on our own and its definately been proven to us time and time again. but i hope one day when its all said and done that we'll look back and be proud of what we accomplished. it was a hell of a project and continues to be, that's for sure.
i hope that i can look back on 2013 and be happy with the way it all went. i'm also hoping it turns out to be a very lucky year for us on the TTC front. if not lucky, i hope its at least informative so we can figure out what the hell is going on with our bodies that's preventing us from being lucky.
TO A MUCH BETTER, HAPPIER, EXCITING 2013!!!
it was a very trying year for us since we had to continue with the stress that TTC brings along with building an addition to our house. we've managed to get through it all together, even though i'm sure we both wanted to kill eachother at some point, but we survived. that's probably how we got through the entire year, just trying to survive everything that was going on and not really living or fully enjoying everything, just tried to keep our heads above water.
we dealt with 2 of the hardest things a couple can deal with, a MC and a major house reno. i still think we were crazy to think we could do the house on our own and its definately been proven to us time and time again. but i hope one day when its all said and done that we'll look back and be proud of what we accomplished. it was a hell of a project and continues to be, that's for sure.
i hope that i can look back on 2013 and be happy with the way it all went. i'm also hoping it turns out to be a very lucky year for us on the TTC front. if not lucky, i hope its at least informative so we can figure out what the hell is going on with our bodies that's preventing us from being lucky.
TO A MUCH BETTER, HAPPIER, EXCITING 2013!!!
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