not much to update on the ttc front

(cycle 49, day 26, 11 dpo)

there hasn't been a whole lot to report on. some days I swear I'm pregnant and others I swear we'll never get pregnant. around 8dpo I had some pain in my hips and then most days since then I've had some kind of pain in my pelvis and lower stomach. am I reading too much into it? probably. then yesterday I had a bit of an upset stomach all day. I had gone out drinking the night before so I would normally use that as the reason, but it was constant all day and didn't subside at all, so that made me think it had to be pregnancy nausea. I'm crazy. of course I tested yesterday and not to my surprise it was a bfn. I'm getting so tired of seeing those. I'm welcoming the break that's coming next cycle. of course I hope beyond all hope that we get a miracle, but I'm not kidding myself. I'm still as hopeless as ever. I'm dreading Wednesday still. I don't want to hear our results. I'm terrified of any answer we could get. I'm trying to wait til Wednesday morning to test again, with the hope that I can go into that appointment as a prego, but I know that's a long shot.